There are basically 6 reasons why alcohol consumption and hangovers make many people anxious and I’m going tell you what they are. I want to share this with you so that you can be more informed and avoid becoming alcohol’s punching bag.
Ever since I became sick with nervous illness I’ve heard a lot of people say that anxiety sufferers should not drink alcohol because it makes you more nervous than you already are.
I’ve always found this to be ironic because there are so many anxiety sufferers that drink alcohol to cope with their anxiety, but true it is.
Now, the fact that alcohol can cause anxiety is just that, a fact. It is a scientifically based understanding, so this is not simple conjecture on my part.
Will alcohol affect all people this way? Probably not, but as an anxiety sufferer you should be aware of the possible pitfalls of alcohol consumption, so pay close attention.
Scientists believe that alcohol causes or at least increases anxiety in 6 basic ways and here they are.
1. Mood
Alcohol can affect our mood because it can affect the level of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a feel good brain chemical that when in short supply can cause feelings of anxiety and depression.
A drop in blood sugar can cause dizziness, confusion, weakness, nervousness, shaking and numbness. These symptoms can most certainly trigger a bout of anxiety.
3. Dehydration
This has been known to cause nausea, dizziness, fatigue, light-headedness and muscle weakness. These symptoms wouldn’t cause anxiety per say but they add to a sense of illness which fosters anxiety.
4. Nervous System
The nervous system is affected because in order for the body to fight off the sedative effects of alcohol it puts the body into a state of hyperactivity in order to counteract this effect. This hyperactivity can lead to shaking, light/sound sensitivity and sleep deprivation.
5. Heart Rate
Your heart rate can become elevated as a result of consuming alcohol which can cause a palpitation false alarm and put you into a state of anxious anticipation. Is it a heart attack or isn’t it you might ask. This “what if” questioning can increase your general state of anxiety.
6. Concentration
A hard night of drinking can also make you hazy, bring on headaches and create a sense of disorientation.
So if you’re going to have a glass of wine with dinner I don’t think you should be concerned. On the other hand, if you’re a heavy drinker, or binge drinker, then this might cause a real problem for you.
According to The Times Online, scientists don’t know exactly why all this happens but they do suggest that you eat before drinking, drink water in between drinks, and stay in bed if you are hung over to avoid all the problems I outlined above.
Some would say that maybe you shouldn’t drink at all if you have an anxiety disorder – that’s debatable. Do you think that alcohol should be avoided at all cost when someone has an anxiety disorder?
I don’t think that alcohol should be avoided if drinking is part of your social repertoire, however, I also know that moderation and good sense should be your guide.
In addition, although alcohol does have a sedative effect it should not be used as a coping tool. This type of behavior can lead to alcoholism and worse yet, more anxiety.
So if you know that you’re a light weight, or if you already know that alcohol makes you anxious, don’t bother. Maybe I don’t need to say it, but really some people just don’t know when to say no.
Note: I want to hear your opinions. Let me know what you think about this issue – comment below.
Update
After waiting forever I finally completed a podcast for this article. Press play to listen now.
Kyle, you will not need a CAT scan or MRI, your symptoms are not for a stroke or a heart problem however it seems you are passing through Drugs withdrawal symptoms, well, i am not here to judge you but i will have to tell you as well as myself ”appreciate the gift you have, appreciate your health” i don’t know how will this sound to you but i hope you never approach Alcohol or Drugs, i told myself if Alcohol is the only way to enjoy life then i would rather not enjoy it, i don’t know how much Alcohol and Cocaine you had but it is the worst mix and it might take you long time until you feel perfect again so don’t watch your body and just go on with your life but again at least give your body a chance to recover, i would say don’t even have a shot of Beer, Doctors are helpless, i wonder how many times you visited a Doctor and he told you that you are fine, actually we are not fine but when they have nothing to say they just say one of two things ”you are fine”…”it’s Anxiety”, even MRI and CAT scan are not magic, there are things which neither MRI nor CAT scan can reveal, so, forget about the past and just ignore the current symptoms because watching them will even make you feel worse…go on with your life and you will be fine…again, i am not a Doctor but i visited a lot of them, had every possible test under sun and they are all fine, i am following exactly what i told you and so far it is working….
Look “what the heck”, and others—i’m not sure what this board has evolved to, and EVERYONE is welcome here, but i truly feel in my heart a few people who post here are either “idiot, college kids” (who know less than most of the uneducated world in my strong opinion) doing “thesis’s”, OR just people who are trying to get a rise off message boards?? anywho………Listen, if you gave up drinking ten years ago and havent had a drop, i seriously DOUBT your issues are “alcohol related”, which is what this board is about, and if you hoenstly have a “teaspoon” of beer, and feel like crap 3 days later, i can GUARENTEE it is “psychosomatic”….(not sure about the spelling”, but that means its IN YOUR MIND”)…geez…..lets try to refocus on what this board is about……….frankly right now, i have about 8 or 9 beers tonite, will probably feel unproductive, and like crap tomorrow…hopefully not too “anxious” though………….hows everyone else doin? todd??
J, you seem to be an Expert that’s why i decided to ask you again, 25 days ago i had couple shots of Vodka, couple shots of Whisky, couple shots of Red wine on an empty stomach and after 25 days i am still light headed and have migraine…do you have any idea what is that??
I’m absolutely NO expert on anything medical related…..If you had a few shots about 25 days ago, i can GUARENTEE it has nothing to do with the alcohol though of how you feel today..
J, i agree with you that Alcohol was metabolized in my body a long time ago however do you agree with me that Alcohol might pass peacefully through someone’s body but sometimes it might leave a permanent sign even if the Alcohol itself is no longer there? an overdose of drug can kill, what an overdose of Alcohol could do? i feel that my brain was not happy with what i did that night, today i met a Neurologist and he just decided to send me to MRI….
I’m still around and doing well at the moment. I definitely agree that some of the posts I have been reading lately make it hard for me to suggest alcohol is the primary issue whether it’s John’s issues (That amount of alcohol that has metabolized that long ago should not be the cause of any of the symptoms he is going through) or What the heck’s comments of being clean and sober for 10 years yet still suffering panic disorders. To me that is simply having panic disorder where alcohol is clearly not a factor or the cause.
Many of us here do have direct ties with anxiety and alcohol. For us, we each have our individual struggles with alcohol and subsequently the anxiety which is a primary withdrawal symptom for binge and habitual abusers. Alcohol is food and fuel for anxiety. Many of us are proof of that. J I see your points about the types of posts. However, I would like to assume everyone here is in need of help from anxiety on some level. Even if I am wrong and there really are the nefarious among us. In the end, this forum community is clearly helping many of us. If any of my words are even the slightest helpful for others out there suffering panic disorder/alcohol abuse/anxiety then that is really good enough for me.
In my therapy I have been discovering just how much anxiety has been a part of my life, even without the influence of alcohol. So I can certainly identify with those who suffer the symptoms even when alcohol is not a central theme in their lives. A pre-existing case of anxiety and panic disorder is like a soft camp fire burning. Alcohol is the lighter fluid you squirt on to that soft fire. And we all know what happens to the fire when you add lighter fluid.
The end game here for all of us who have sought this place on the web for one reason or another is to try to figure out how to put out that fire.
Whether it’s a soft glowing one or a raging inferno.
The Neurologist prescriped ”Apo-Nortriptyline” for my Anxiety, anyone has previous experience with this??
wow. i think i’m gonna retire from this forum for a while. J, i kind of agree that this forum has taken a wrong turn. None of us are certified to give medical advice, we can only comiserate and share our experiences with anxiety and alcohol… Some of Johns posts have me seriously concerned that he needs to seek major medical and pyschological advice, not ask random strangers on a forum about his health and refer to them as experts.
I want to suggest that everyone who posts here to listen to Paul’s podcast on the topic. Its so very good and helpful.
Good luck to all.
-T
I noticed that there is a link on the home page of this for “Dr. Claire Weekes”. I have read “Peace from Nervous Suffering” and another one that my mom lent me, and regardless of WHY you are having nervous illness, her books might help. The ones I read were written quite awhile ago, so the analogies might appear out of date, but can be easily replaced with current events (in my opinion).
Talk therapy was mentioned in a couple of posts above. I just wanted to raise my hand and say to anyone that was wondering if it works that I have found it to be a great tool and I think that has actually helped more than anything after quitting beer/cigarettes/caffeine.
I have a question: has anyone experienced anxiety or nervous illness from being B12 deficient? It could just be conincidence, since I was daily binging on alcohol, but when I went to my PCP for servere anxiety, one of the routine blood tests showed by B12 level in the 230’s (normal is 700-900, transfusion happens at 200). Needless to say I had to have IV B12 and still continue to self-inject liquid B12 each month. My PCP intimates that this will most likely have to happen for the rest of my life, since I cannot digest B12 from food properly for some reason. It’s not a big deal to me, but I wonder, since B12 is connected to healthy nerves, if that deficiency is somehow related to the onset of the anxiety and panic attacks. As I have said in earlier posts, I truly believe that I was made with amped up anxiety inherint, but what I did/did not do to my body opened the door for full on problems. Just curious if anyone else has had problems with B12 too.
Todd: your analogy of the fire and lighter fluid was excellent! Thanks for always sharing…….
The B12 thing is quite common. I eat bee pollen and it helps quite a bit. It also applies to any B vitamin because they are all water soluble.
wow, no comments on here in two weeks?? is everyone cured?? or just unsure if any further good can be got here from reading others stories/?
j, that guy John kind of derailed the thread, IMO. I got lost trying to read his comments and answers to them. I am on week eight w/practically no alcohol. I had a few beers once and then another day I binged w/1/2 pt of rum and a six pack. The few beers were okay the rum wasn’t. I paid dearly for that the next day. So, this fulfilled my curiosity because I was able to isolate the alcohol as the culprit. And, my sugar cravings are getting better. How are you? I hope we can get this thread back on track.
I’ve been lurking and struggling to be honest. I’ve had aches and pain in my liver area for the past week which has my attention. Drank my weight in wine last night as a “Going on hiatus for a while” last stand sort of thing. My liver is definitely sluggish and not at all happy with me at the moment. I told the wife that I may be quitting for good by the new year. I can’t just have one glass of wine. I don’t like what alcohol has become in my life. A production. A problem.
So I’m off the sauce for awhile. At least a few weeks for sure if not more. Then I am going to get another blood test for my liver after I’m dry for a while and see what the results say. From there I’m either going to drink on very special occasion or be done with it forever. I’m at that stage where that won’t be as hard to do as it may once have been.
Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Jim, i agree about that other “character”…I think it was either someone “pretending” on here, or a non english speaking idiot….That being said…Please go into more detail about “how” you felt after drinking the beer and especially the rum….I’d like to compare to see if i have similar feelings after drinking heavy…Also, can you be descriptive, and completely HONEST about what it feels like after not having a drop for weeks?? I know many people “claim” that they feel 100% better, but is it true, or is it just like “blah”??
Todd— miss hearing from you…..Last i heard from ya you were doing pretty good and havent drank in days or weeks even…To be honest, i kinda felt like you may falter and drink some more, but as long as you keep TRYING i’m sure it will make a difference in your life for the better…Never give up trying….I havent got to the point yet with myself to say i’m “done” drinking……I KNOW i drink too much, and i KNOW i must cut down much more, but i’m being hoenst with myself in saying that i’m not ready…For the meantime i have cut down though, i had 1 beer last nite, and like 4 the nite before…Has your anxiety panic attacks been acting up?? I’ve had to take a few 1/2 xanax’s in the last week, cuz i just “felt” like i was very anxious….I keep wondering, does one TRULY feel almost no anxiety and 100% better after not drinking for days/ weeks?? If i could CONFIRM this answer, it would probably make me think about quitting alot more seriously….hhmmm
I was doing well for a while and of course all it takes is some social events or parties and bam, I’m right back at the binging lifestyle. To be perfectly honest I wouldn’t be ready to quit if I didn’t have the fear of failing health (or liver specifically). I know the liver is a very forgiving organ but it can only take so much and I watched my good friend die at the early age of 40 of liver failure and I sure as hell do not wish to go that route.
If this liver pain/ache doesn’t wake me up, nothing will and that is very frightening to me. Has anyone else here had these symptoms? It’s to the right of my solar plexis and I feel the pain when I am sitting for a while then go to stand up. It’s not a constant ache or pain it’s just there when I move suddenly. I’m assuming it’s my liver and I had some bouts of chronic fatigue and my research on the liver does suggest I have fatty liver or sluggish liver. I’m 42 now and sometimes I like to think I am still in my twenties. This heavy bing drinking has to stop.
My aunt also died of liver failure in her 50’s. Now she was drinking a fifth of vodka a day for years but still.
So far no jaundice but I would rather not wait for that stage, you know?
At the very very least, I need to go on serious dry spells to heal my body or I just don’t see a happy ending at a very old age.
Todd, i’m just about the same age as you, but i’d like to understnad a little more about “how much” you drink?? You think its your liver, but i know in the past, you said you ONLY drink on weekends, and take weeks off at a time….I certainly CANNOT boast that, and i would think if you ONLY drank on weekends, it shouldnt cause liver damage, as the liver is the one organ that can self repair itself in time……I drink a few beers EVERY nite, and on weekends, sometimes 10-12, and not even really feel drunk…You can take the easist test in the world to find out your liver condition with a simple blood test…. How much wine exactly do you drink when you binge?? I truly truly found that no matter how much beer i drink, i dont feel “too” bad the next day (well within reason), but the MINUTE i drink hard liquor OR wine, i have the “shaky”, sweats, heart palpatations, anxiety, panic attacks the next day..
My average “binge” weekend is somewhere in the 8-10 generous-sized glasses of wine a night, 2, sometimes 3 days straight. I was getting better and decreasing the amount and how often but I found myself back in the pattern the last few weeks. I still don’t drink at all during the week. It does seem a bit strange that my neighbor drinks beer and wine (tell me about it) every day with no liver issues. He thinks it’s funny that I talk about my liver (I am a bit of a hypochondriac I confess) yet he drinks every day (about a 12-pack plus wine at the end of the night) with no real major problems. My test came back “slightly inflamed” but I drank the day before so I wondered about that.
I drank all weekend (3 days) so I know I am going to be paying for it with anxiety this week. I am such an all or nothing person it’s sometimes just plain maddening. Plus I got the self loathing thing going on today as it’s accumulative when I’ve had a binge weekend.
Maybe I should put on Leaving Las Vegas. Then again, probably not a good idea, lol.
j, okay here are my observations. I hope this helps. First two weeks I was impossibly tired. Remember, I quit smokes and alcohol on the same day AND started Zoloft. I was later told by ex alks and one doctor that this was borderline crazy but I didn’t know any better. For the first two weeks I kept a bowl of Reeses Pieces by the bed and ate a handful in the morning just to get going. I was told this was my body missing out on huge amounts of sugar from no more beer.
This problem passed after two or three weeks. My morning anxiety, which was awful, went away after about a month and I was able to get out of bed okay and get to work.
In the process, I lost 35 pounds. No lie. I am 6’1″ and went from 250 to 215 and have stayed there. My vital signs are perfect according to the doctor. Blood pressure went from 150/100 to 120/70 and that has stayed low. My pulse went from about 75 down to 45 resting and 60 sitting during the day. At first I thought 45 was super low, but the doctor said it was fine. So now, I am on paper in top shape for the average 50 yr old.
I believe both cigs and alcohol are MAJOR contributors to anxiety. They make your blood pressure, breathing and pulse high and make you feel as if you are going to have a panic attack.
If you feel as if you are going to have a panic attack, go for a jog immediately. It will fix you in about five minutes. It is impossible to have a panic attack during exercise because your involuntary muscle responses override your anxiety, plus endorphins kick in and calm you down. I have read this on several occasions and I completely believe it.
With the alcohol, I had no cravings at first. My mind had convinced itself that these things are poison and I would cringe at the thought of falling back into the hole, so not drinking was okay.
Later, when I began to feel better, I got that taste for beer again. This was exactly at six weeks. In the interim, I had been to parties and bars without drinking. My strategy was to bring a can of RockStar or cranberry juice and seltzer and that was my drink. What surprised me was how stupidly people acted while in the bar, esp near closing. (I was in a band at the time.)
At six weeks exactly, I thought I needed to know what alcohol would do. At first, I was nervous about even taking a sip of beer. After the first one, I felt fine so I had a few more then stopped. Next morning, I felt absolutely fine. Three days later, I did it again except with a half pint of rum. This was a huge mistake. Next day was miserable.
Okay, so lesson learned, I can still hold the liquor, but will pay mightily the next day. I think it was the hard liquor, not the beer. Like wine, rum and whiskey have tannins and flavonoids, which I think wreak all kinds of havoc if you are on the edge anxiety-wise.
So, it seems like I can drink beer on occasion but will have to avoid hard liquor for the time being. To me it’s okay to drink beer. There is no stigma and I don’t think it interferes with my life other than from the standpoint of anxiety and tension.
My goal was never to quit for good, but rather find that point of moderation because for a lot of us, drinking is fun and that’s where the trouble stems from. Too much alcohol is too much fun and it makes you sick.
I hope this helps.
To answer your main question … yes, at eight weeks, despite having drunk on a couple occasions, I honestly feel a lot better. Getting blood pressure down helped a lot, ditto for pulse. In a way, blood pressure, pulse, breathing and anxiety are all intertwined. But, IMO, it was worth it. I think drinking only a couple times in two months didn’t reverse the whole effort. It made me understand it better and it reinforced my opinion that the hard liquor or anything with tannins is a much more powerful irritant than beer, but enough beer and I think I would be down for the count the day after.
Todd, good luck and hope you dont feel too bad this week…I’m having a few beers as we speak, hopefully i wont overdo it or feel like crap too much tomorrow…Let us know how you feel during the week, regarding the anxiety mainly..
JimK, thank you for the long letter, and yes it does help me to “understand’, and understanding is the key when helping yourself, or anyone else for that matter..I would have to agree, about the combination of alcohol and ALSO nicotene being a huge contributor to anxiety……I dont know if its my imagination, but i’ve noticed on many many occasions where i “kinda” feel anxious that if i put in a dip of tobacco,(usually when hungver or after a nite of drinking) the anxiety increases by about a 5 fold while i’m chewing the tobacco….Sometimes to the point of needing a 1/2 xanax…I know for a fact that its been said nicotene and alcohol both raise blood pressure, heart rate etc, so maybe theres something to this after all?..Aside from the elevated heart rate and blood pressure though, i know people are going to think this is weird but, its just something in my brain that triggers as well when using nicotene and alcohol, something of a negative effect–looming feelings of death, anxiety, negative thoughts…Its hard to explain but i think its this “black mental cloud” that exasberates the anxiety 100 fold…?? Also, Jim, i would be curious as to how much you drank before quitting?? You said a few beers you had recently, and the 1/2 pint of rum? A half pint is liek that really small bottle right?? I would think thats only maybe 3-4 stiff drinks to be honest, so i’m just wondering why such a small amount could make one feel that bad…..I’ve noticed that hard liquor and rum in particular makes the anxiety really really bad the next day….What are these other chemicals you talk about in the hard liquors that cause anxiety?? it sounds interesting and something i may want to check more into..
Not medical advice! I had that kind of ache, Todd. I read about alcohol and wrecking HCI balance in stomach and something about bile going into the stomach. For kidneys, I drank lots of pure cranberry juice from health food store. Then, I ate a lot of alkalined foods and that feeling is GONE. Look, if you are going to do bad, I say do soooo much good to the body so that it can absorb the bad until I am ready for moderation. I was doing well on moderation. Then so much stress and went over and yes feeling it. But lots of good then bad in moderation.
Thanks anonymoustoo. I’m driving myself nuts with the hypochondriac self-diagnosing. Doing precisely what my doctor and everyone tells you not to do. I’m day 4 sober (usually my worst day after binging) and for the most part I don’t feel too bad. The pain is sharp and noticeable only when I am sitting and go to get up suddenly, or bend over fast…Otherwise I don’t feel anything. I do think it’s due to inflammation of my liver but gallstones and even what you mentioned can’t be ruled out.
Other than the chest pain (no not that kind of chest pain) and right shoulder blade ache and other aches and pains (I really do believe are all from my binge last weekend), generally I don’t feel too bad. I have been eating tons of broccoli, cauliflower, veggies, raw fruits, milk thistle, and plenty of WATER this week so I know I’m definitely giving my system the break it needs right now from alcohol.
If the pain is still there after next week I will make an appointment with my doctor. I want to see if it goes away after two weeks of no alcohol.
I HATE how I put myself through all of this and yet I STILL find myself making bargains to drink down the road.
I KNOW. Everyone says I have talent. So what am I doing to myself! I always start the day “never again” then the shitty stressful day commences and “just one” to…
Though I am actually having a good day today. I like to be optimistic.
Oh well, I failed. I started drinking again after a month off it. I feel like crap. However, my bf who is a bit of an enabler said he would stop going and getting me a box of wine when i ask him to, so hopefully this will help as while he is a complete non-alcho, has had relationships with women who were far worse than me. He said he noticed how much my anxiety runs like crazy when I drink, how it stops my creativity (I’m an artist) even though when I drink I don’t get drunk. I just drink steadily but it still does me in. So after a month of no Xanax I’m back on it. It is madness this pattern. I know better but I don’t do it. Tomorrow is a new day, a new start and I hope that I can do what I did before: one month of staying off the wine. I am ashamed. But ready to begin the fight once more.
Ruth, dont beat yourself up about having wine ….You drank for many years, and it is awesome that you abstained for an entire month. I definitely CANNOT say i’ve gone even a full week in many years without any alcohol…..You should be proud of yourself, not ashamed, and tell yourself that you abstained for a month, so you can do it again… I personally would be wary of anyone on here who said they are done drinking for good, and actually held to it the first time.. There are GOING to be slip ups, but as long as you get back on that wagon, and try again, you could look forward to feeling better again right??….May i ask ruth, you said you went a month without drinking then relapsed, was it just for one nite? a weekend?? thats really nothing to feel bad about if so…
Ruth,
I drank a couple times, too. I’m on week nine now of “sobriety,” although I had some beers and rum on night then beer on another night. If anything, it helped me figure things out. You said it yourself. If you drink, you’re gonna pay for it the next day, at least at this time in your life. Same with me. Maybe in three months or three years you will be able to drink wine and feel great the next day, but for now, it’s gonna bite you in the azzz the next day.
The fact that you did one month is AWESOME. Seriously, most people in our situation can’t make it through one DAY without getting loaded.
Ruth don’t consider it a failure consider it a success. That was one month you gave your body a break from the toxin of alcohol. I know as good as anyone the feeling of failure but at the end of the day any day, week or month that you are alcohol-free is a success. I’m on Day 6 dry and I’m just now starting to feel better. How long will it last? I really don’t know. But however long I do last, I have to look at that period as a success. Eventually, we may all reach that place of 100 percent sobriety with the grip of anxiety finally loosened.
No matter the self-loathing, guilt or grief, never count out the resiliency and potential of the human spirit.
Thank you all. I read all you wrote.
I still feel a fuck up. Around midnight I suffered the ‘you know what’: anxiety attack and it was bad. Two 25mg of pills and a sleeping pill did nothing. After an hour or so of worrying, sweating, thinking horrid thoughts of dying etc and all that hell, I finally got up and went about the house. Which is a mess because I am really a tidy person but when I drink I don’t care so much so it really offends me to see unopened mail and boxes lying around and things draining in the sink that should really be clean.
I’m going to have to have a word with my bf. I noticed another box of wine by the door that I don’t want to drink and I don’t understand this as he does not like me drinking. It’s like his love for me will do anything, but I don’t want to die of being killed by alcohol. He can’t say no, I can’t say not at times, so we are at am impasse. He knows when I want wine he’ll get it but after an hour or two I am sick of it and wish it wasn’t in the house as I know I will drink it. I was doing great. I lost weight, bought fun fashionable clothes that look great, my skin clears and here I am back on the Chardonnay yet again.
And the truth is, my boyfriend is not at fault and really none of us are, we are fighting some dreadful disease and I hate it. So one more box folks and it’s back to where I tried before. Wish me hope. I am a really good person at heart and wish I did not have this awful addiction. x
And the other thing is, when there are fires all over Texas and children in the world suffering, it hurts me more than I am so damaged. My parents did young. I should know better but yet it carries on. I won’t go to AA. I will carry on with the group. You have been wonderful and supportive. I wish I could make it past just that one month.
All you can do is keep fighting, every day Ruth. Make a commitment to live today in your Soul/Spirit/Mind/Body’s best interest. If you screw up, let it go and try again tomorrow. One thing I definitely agree with AA…”One Day At A Time.”
I’m on Day 7 today and still feel a little foggy/unclear in the head, random aches and pains but I see the light at the end of the tunnel. My panic attacks are coming in small waves, I see them for what they are, ride them out and keep moving forward. This toxin in a vicious seductress. So seductive…So destructive. A paradox for the ages!
Fall down, get back up. Fall down, get back up.
Ruth, hang in there, it sounds like you are a good person, and you’ve done very well staying away from alcohol in the past, and i’m sure you can do it again..
Todd…i’m not sure what to say, cuz i dont understand how after 7 days your just starting to feel better?? I had thought that all alcohol is out of ones system like by end of hte next day, so how could you still feel a little “anxious” etc, 7 days later??.. You are a big inspiration to me and many others on this board, so dont think i’m not believing you, i just am trying to “understand” more i guess of what a full week later you feel alcohol anxiety?? Plus you ONLY drink 2-3 days a week even when binging….Id have to say i’m not even sure if you are what society would label as an “alcoholic”, but just maybe a binge drinker? Me, myself, i drink almost every nite, usually dont get drunk(probably cuz of tolerance,) but i have about 4-5 light beers on week days, and on weekends probably double that…..
j- I hate labels. One of the things I can’t stand about AA is if you have not touched a drop of alcohol in 30 years you are still a “recovering alcoholic”. What BS that is. We humans love to define everything we do by labels. Whether it’s politics, religion or basic social and community definitions. An alcoholic is a term people use to describe those with alcohol dependency problems. What may define one person’s definition may not at all apply to the next person’s. So in that regard, I rarely use the term on myself or others.
Society uses very broad strokes when painting with the word “alcoholic”. Meh.
As far as my 7-days in, I do feel much better but I pay extremely close attention to my body, more than most. It’s the hypochondriac in me which is a component to my generalized anxiety disorder. So where some people who abuse alcohol would think this past week has been a walk in the park, I magnify every minuscule tweak, twitch, ache, pain, or any other rash of symptoms that may or may not be caused by liver inflammation.
I went on a full blown 3-day bender last weekend. That’s very rare for me to do these days. While I did not have the obvious withdrawals on day 3 and 4, I did have that general anxiety, dizzy, foggy brain, aches, pains, fear of dying thoughts, yadda yadda…But it’s been somewhat dampened by all the water, vegtables, fruits and other healthy things I’ve been ingesting all week. It’s definitely aiding the healing process I have no doubt.
When I drink heavily on the weekends, it can take my up to a week to start to feel normal again. Whether that’s normal for others or not I can’t say. I do know it’s normal for me. I fully expect to feel great this next week. My main liver pain is subsiding, I rarely feel it anymore. I expect the other aches to begin subsiding as well. My body is healing itself because I am allowing it to.
Also, I may not drink every day but I have been drinking since I was 14 years old and I am 42 now. So it’s accumulative as well. Our organs are amazingly resilient but they can only take so much toxin abuse. This is why I believe my liver is trying to get my attention by hitting me over the head with an empty wine bottle. I can either stay in denial and continue my binging ways and end up in a hospital with a failing liver/pancreas/kidneys in my late 40’s or 50’s, or I can listen to what it’s trying to tell me and start living a life more in moderation.
And finally, we are all different in how we process and metabolize toxins. Some people’s livers are made out of steel, while others are simply made out of…well, liver. I tend to think mine falls into the latter category sad to say, lol.
This morning, I woke up and wanted to kill myself. I was seriously thinking about how I wanted to do it. Considering the different ways, the most painless, for me and my family. I saw a bottle of whiskey and decided to have a drink instead.
Alcohol may have saved my life this morning. Is it the best coping mechanism? Obviously not. But it IS a quick fix. If I die of liver disease 10 years from now, that’s not so bad comparatively.
But do what you can. If you have a good day and the idea of getting medication and help sounds like something you can cope with, awesome, embrace that feeling. But don’t feel too bad if you *need* a drink when things get bad. Sometimes, it’s better than the alternative. People talk about self-medicating like it’s the worst thing ever. As long as you don’t delude yourself and you understand that ultimately it’s unhealthy, have some trust in yourself.
Oh Ryan please don’t do that…don’t forget dead is forever. Please think of your family…my brother killed himself with a shotgun when he was twenty-five.
The wreakage left behind for the family was almost too much to take!
I’ve also had three cousins commit suicide…it’s definitely not the way to go.
I usually read the posts on here but do not comment very often but from what I’ve read this should be called the Anxiety/Depression Guru. These two disorders very often go hand in hand. What I don’t understand is why people aren’t getting help for these problems?
The last drunk I had was the Saturday of Labor Day weekend at a family reunion.
I stayed up all night drinking with my brother and a few of my cousins.
As the sun rose I started to feel extremely depressed and anxious…as time wore on I just felt like killing myself…so I know how that feels Ryan, but it’s not an option.
I talked to a few family members and took 10 mg. of Valium to calm down and things got at least bearable…but I stayed seriously depressed for the rest of the day and I haven’t been the same since.
I have been for treatment for my anxiety and depression but unfortunately I have treatment resistant depression. Then DUH…it dawned on me…I probably have treatment resistant depression because I keep binge drinking while on medication.
No medication is going to work for your depression and anxiety if you keep drinking!
Three days after my drinking bout I had an appointment with a new PCP (Bitch)!
Anyway, when she was feeling my liver she said it was inflamed and asked me the last time I drank and how much and I told her.
Now she’s ordered a liver panel test which is fine with me…but I know mentally and physically wise I have to stop my once or twice a month binges.
I’m still depressed and I’m being weaned (again) off from my 31st antidepressant.
I still take 10mg. of Valium at night and I’m on 600mg. of Lithium. Why? I’m not sure because that’s not helping either.
Mine is an unusual case…some of the people on here can be helped with medication, some not, but at least try it, some of the SSRI’s are good for both depression and anxiety.
(Just don’t take Paxil). Zoloft helped me a great deal with both problems but I also gained fifty pounds in three months…it stopped working for me after nine years.
The thing that has worked the best for me is a MAOI called Parnate but my sugar cravings were very intense on this drug therefore I have not lost any weight yet.
I guess the thrust of this whole conversation is that there is help out there…we’re our own worst enemies…and we choose our own path in life.
Hello People, I’ve had that ” binge drink” thing going on too!
I’m 41 years old, and have a complex relationship with alcohol,..have suffered from depression, almost became an alcoholic through that..( alcohol being a depressive just means I was taking a depressive for depression..not the best move in the World!)..but now,winning my war with it despite going out and getting pissed at the weekend.
I have also recently quit the ciggies, but when I have a drink..I smoke, because of my warped reasoning, my triggers, associations etc.
So after Saturday night,..I thought..” bollocks”…I’m not doing this shit anymore.
And it’s not that familiar voice we all know, after a heavy session,..that voice of guilt.
Yes, there is guilt, but there is a stronger feeling that which knows, I have been pissed four times in 3 months..and knows that I CAN control this!
We have to understand…and this is hard,…that there is no ” phantom hand” leading us towards the alcohol..the cravings come from us,…and us alone, we create those cravings…
I ” chose” to get pissed,…I created the “reasons” to do so..I conned myself, and myself only.
Let’s get down to brass tacks..Alcohol is a drug!…we are ” Drug Abuser/Misusers”…unfortunately alcohol is the acceptable, public face of drugs.
There is a great site called MoodGym which explains the basics of CBT, and these are both simple and profound.
Im not for a moment saying that this will cure us..but it does shine a beam of understanding on our ways, and how, ultimately, it is “us” and only “us” who makes the decision to pour that first drink..
I am currently working on a blog, that is trying to amass all sort information, from alcohol abuse to personality types, from core beliefs to alcohol and personal relationship problems…it is very much a work in progress!
It really is a thought dump..it’s not professional by any means, but, although all here, are unique, we are united by that common “sauce of all evil” ( see what I did there?..eh?..) so there may be something of worth on there to someone…
If anyone is interested, please feel free to drop me a line.
Free the Soul, lose the Spirit.
Welcome Rezwack!
I’m still on the wine. I’m also on the Xanax. Which, btw, hardly works anymore. Neither do the Costco sleeping pills. Waste of time on both counts. Probably on a low dosage. 25mg of Xanax.
I won’t go to the Doc to get more meds tho b/c they have no liking for drinkers and I feel bad enough right now not to want to be made to feel worse. I once ended up in ER thinking I had heart failure (part of anxiety as we most likely all know) and when the Doc told me all I had was the DT’s, she looked at me like I was a piece of sh*t and stormed out of the room. Hey, I’m a tax payer! I’m not pan handling on the street! I felt so awful. It’s an addiction! No one is putting this glass of wine into me at 6am but I have a problem with drinking. I don’t need sympathy but some understanding from this group does me the world of good b/c I’m not being judged any more.
My blood pressure is actually ok, which is usually isn’t when I’m drinking. Yes, I have been having all the usual anxiety symptoms, the sweats at night, lying awake tired but wired, hating myself and having nightmares. I notice that there is one more box of wine in the house. After that, I am not going to drink for a while again. I felt SO much happier when I was sober. I hate drinking. I just don’t know why I do it. It does offer a quick fix like someone earlier said but it’s just a quick fix.
What is interesting is that there is NO history of drinking in my family that I’m aware of. So why, out of all my sibs and parents who NEVER drank was I given this addiction? It’s a constant fight and a tiresome one. And so rarely understood.
Another problem with drinking and anxiety is that it causes me to be lonely b/c I can’t be a social drinker and I don’t want anyone to know that I’m an alki so I stay home a lot. Also, since I run a small but successful business that kind of runs itself, I can do what I like all day, so drinking at noon or at 8am or 5am or 6pm are all options for me. So… one more box and we are back to hoping to make it that one month I did before. I hope the rest of you are doing well and not suffering.
Ruth…you should never feel “ashamed” of what your going through…I am not going to say that we have “no choice’ of our situation, but it is what it is….And we do have the choice to either drink,and feel the anxiety, or not drink, and feel better….If you really need another precription, you could just “call it in” to your dr’s office, and usually they will just refill it for you right??… I’m curious, how much wine do you drink a day, and how many days a week do you drink??…Its kinda weird, how i’ve noticed alot of the people on here with the serious anxiety issues are “wine” drinkers….I myself stick to light beer and it “seems” to not give me as bad anxiety/hangovers/shakes/sweats as does hard liquor or even wine…Has anyone else noticed that “while” drinking (not the next day), they can actually feel their blood pressure go up? For me its like this, after 1-2 beers, i feel good, and fun, after about 4 beers, i feel the “blood pressure” raise and even some anxiety, and its not until i get “over” the hump of about 8 beers or so that i feel the euphoric intoxication(which most certainly leads to feeling at least a little hungover or anxiety the next day…. For me personally i think i’ve isolated the “why i drink” aspect…..Its because life kinda sucks for me right now, and simply put, i get BORED in the evenings, so i crack a few beers…When i crack a few beers i have that “fun feeling”, where i want to cook, call friends, put on a good movie etc…..When i dont drink, i just feel depressed i guess, and the alcohol temporarily makes me feel “fun” …So if i could have this nitely “fun” feelings without the alcohol, personally i dont think i would drink nearly as often, or as much…….But thats just my own scenario….We each have to find out the “why” we drink ourselves…
It’s so easy to get down on oneself when you can’t seem to escape the cycle of addiction. Having moments of clarity, strength and discipline really boosts our self-esteem only to have it all shatter away after falling back down and getting back into the cycle of abuse. I know it’s that way for me. So why do we continue to do it to ourselves? Because alcohol is one powerful drug that completely changes our brain chemistry. The “Reptilian Brain” comes to the forefront completely compromising any progress our healthy mind had been making. It’s one powerful, vicious pattern that is nearly impossible to escape without some kind of outside assistance whether it’s AA, medical rehab, therapy, online support forum communities, proper nutrition, exercise and/or the combination of all of the above.
It’s pointless to tell each other not to be hard on ourselves after a bout of drinking. It’s a mandatory part of the process unfortunately. Self-loathing and hangovers/withdrawals are peanut butter and jelly.
For me, it’s not until a good week or two has passed since drowning in libations where my healthy mind takes over my reptilian brain. Thoughts become much more stable, positive and productive. Profound fears that gripped my waking existence just days before now seem silly and bizarre. Blood pressure returns to normal, the body restores itself as if the binge never happened. This is the danger zone. This is the time (like a woman who went through a painful, long labor) your mind completely looks past the pain and suffering you just went through allowing the reptilian brain to come back to the drinking table and say, “See? That wasn’t so bad! We feel great! Let’s celebrate!”
I’ve always said for me personally, it’s not so much a physical addiction or craving as much as it is a conditioning or association. I have trained myself extremely effectively that weekends and special occasions are meant to be enjoyed with alcohol. Thus, my system of abuse has been established and entrenched in my life for decades. To go without alcohol for a whole weekend or holiday or special occasion is dreadful. Not because of any physical addiction, but the association/conditioning which is just as powerful.
As for the appeal j, I agree. It’s chasing that euphoria plain and simple. Boredom is a HUGE motivator to drink. It makes life more fun! Every act, every situation seems to be much more interesting and fun with a buzz. I too have had struggles with areas of my life that I am unhappy with. Alcohol very much can be a temporary relief from my feelings about a life I wish could be better. This is the “Bait” that keeps me “hooked”.
Releasing ourselves from this addiction may be the hardest thing we ever have to do in our lives. But it can be done. It really boils down, I mean it really, really boils down to how badly we want off the ride.
thanks for the information! i’m in a very frustrating postion cause I do have pretty intense anxiety but I love to party and be social and I just turned 21. Some people tell me I shouldn’t drink at all, but they don’t get it, I’m always anxious anyways and yes alcohol can make me moreso but it also means that you’re getting out and being social instead of ruminating about your anxiety. And the whole idea of never drinking again causes enough anxiety in of itself! I like the moderation idea, and as long as I know i’m not terribly harming my body is a comfort
Wow, I wish I would of known about this site along time ago. Everything that you guys are talking about. . is EVERY SINGLE THING that I have been struggling with by myself for years. I though I was the only person (atleast in my circle of heavy drinkers) that experienced extreme anxiety, chest pains, and the whole back and forth battle between xanax and alchohol etc. I would like to thank each and every one of you for your honesty as it has definetely re-inforced my strength to give up all together.I recently quit for 6 weeks which is the longest dry spell I have had in many years. I fell off the wagon last night and picked up straight from where I left off drinking an easy case of beer in a matter of a few hours. And I oh soooo new I would pay for it dearly today. . AND I AM. . I felt so much better after those 6 weeks and srewing it up is really bad for the self esteem. . Here’s to another six weeks. . I’ll Drink to that. . with a glass of water.LOL I think I am ready to quit all together and I wish all of you luck in doing so yourselves. . SOME PEOPLE JUST SHOULDNT DRINK. . ITS THAT SIMPLE.
Getting off the booze for a little while is not that hard. That month I did recently was easy. Remember I wrote it about it a lot?
But stress does want up to pick up the drink. I recently found out -at 5am this morning- that my 45 year old brother who has just conceived with his girlfriend, a girl not one year old, suffered a major heart attack. He is a boxer, musician and runner as well as a linguistic master. He does not drink, nor smoke and has an excellent diet.
My second thing after the anguish of the tears and terror that he might die and he lives in Europe and I don’t anymore, was to get straight onto the wine. I have not seen his child, nor him for 2 years. It would be devastating to me if he died so young with leaving his girlfriend who is madly in love with him to be a single parent.
It sometimes really doesn’t help but for god’s sake it is a quick fix when you cannot simply bear any pain. I hope he will live through it. Both my parents died young and never saw their grandchildren and I can’t conceive so it is easy to get straight on the wine just to help you out of your head sometimes. I’m off the sleeping pills but still on light Xanax but until things improve with his health, I am going to continue to carry on drinking tonight and if an anxiety attack happens, screw it, I am going to take some pills.
It’s us that don’t deal well with stress or grief that go for the drinking. Its cheaper than grief therapy, which is often a load of hog. I’ll let you know when I’m healthy again. But for now, I feel I have NO choice but to have a few glasses and listen to some classical music and hope to God my only brother makes it through the night and beyond.
Ruth, im’ veery veryyyyyy sorry about your brother, i’ll pray for his recovery. Beating yourself up or making yourself feel physically sick (instead of needing to feel STRONG at a time like this is not the answer though)…..No one would not understand if you wanted a “glass or two” of wine, but please, for yourself DONT go overboard….At a time like this you need your wits, and your strength about you..So if you need “something”, just take half a xanax for the nerves, but try to stear clear of heavy alcohol….Again, i hope all is ok with your brother.
I have a problem similar to you all and I would like to share. Let me put my history of events then be back here.
Ruth, I’m very sorry to hear about your brother.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your brother Ruth.
Well, the good news is that my brother is feeling better! He is getting 5-star treatment in his Italian hospital and could be out in 2 days. I was up all night, yes drinking, waiting to get emails since I’m on the other side of the world and my phone is not set up for international calls now most of us use Facebook. I was born in Europe but don’t get back every year as it’s very expensive. So it looks like he is going to recover.
Other good news is that there is hardly any wine in the house and I’m not buying any more. I’m sick of it and it doesn’t help when you are stressed, it just makes me cry. So thank you all for the nice words and the next time I write I shall be back on trying on that month off the wine again!!!! Thanks for this group and the sweet comments, it was really really nice of you to be so caring. x
So this is my story——-
I am a 45 yo male, 6″ and around 200 lbs. I jog several times every week.
In June last year I ran out of my usual sleep medication then valium 10mg because I could’nt get a prescription on time. So I bought some over the counter stuff that contained Diphenhydramine HydroChloride ( DH).
I used to drink regularly about three to four times a week and it was heavy drinking. So I took the DH for three months and then stopped suddenly because it was giving me side effects. When I stopped thats when the real side effects hit. I developed serious Vertigo. I could’nt work. A doctor put me on some meds and showed me how to do some head movements and after struggling and suffering for many weeks I improved enough and I begun going to the gym. The vertigo was coming in smaller pangs and I begun drinking regularly but not heavy.
Sometime in October last year I was driving home on the highway I was coming from the gym for some treadmill. As I was driving I felt a minor vertigo attack and I decided to exit the highway and took a 50km per hour road. All of a sudden I felt my heart start beating real fast and I begun to feel like fainting any minute. I stopped the car at an intersection because it was red for me. Then I begun to die just there and then my world was coming to an end. The heart was so fast and I was weak and sweating, mouth very dry.The traffic lights were now green but I could’nt move I just had enough strength to turn off the ignition. As I was waiting to die I KEPT WONDERING AS TO WHY IT CAME SO EARLY, young energetic, healthy. Obviously there was now a traffic commotion but the motorists found a way of going round and past me. A man came to my window and asked what the problem was and I just told him to dial 911. In 5 minutes ER came. (I live in Canada)They put oxygen and all other tubes and commenced heart investigations. BP was 170/128. Heart Rate 135. Five minutes latter at a hospital BP 140/100 HR 105. So they did bloods and ECG. 8 hours latter with no treatment BP 125/85 HR 65. Blood tests negative of any adverse. I was booked with a heart specialist and he did 4 different tests all negative, I was sent home. Liver,kidney,sugar and cholesterol tests were found normal. ( I thank God)
This dying like thing and ER trips happened two more times in a few months. I stopped driving. You had to shoot me to get me in a car!!!
Then I read the internet and discovered that I had anxiety and those were full blown panic attacks. Family doctor gave me Ativan sub lingual 0.5 but I now moved to 1mg.
I now drive my car and have only had one panic attack but I did not call 911. I just packed the car and walked home! My wife went and got it! What I get mostly is anxiety. I begun to hide behind alcohol when anxious.
By sheer chance I begun to link my anxiety to alcohol. It was a vicious cycle. So I stopped drinking the way I used to and the anxiety attacks are less severe. I now drink after a week or so but I take two beers every night at bed time. I cant sleep without this.
The HELP I need is that I stop drinking for two or three months so that the anxiety can go away completely. I also need help how to sleep without the two beers or any sleep medication.
Any advice will be appreciated.
I am grateful that my google search brought me here. Sorry it was long.
Joel, sounds like you have had a rough time of it. I used to get severe attacks in airplanes and driving through tunnels. Sounds like the drinking is causing the problems. It took me several years to come to this conclusion.
As for the drinking before bed so you can sleep: do you find you wake up in the middle of the night? Does it affect your sleeping pattern?
Have you tried toughing it out for several days without drinking? What about increasing your exercise ( but not right before bed ).
Exercise helps me out what about changing your diet? Do you stay off caffeine?
I wish you well. Remember you are not alone.
For me alcohol is not my friend. I enjoy the buzz but it comes back and bites me big time, every time.
John.
Thanks, let me answer your questions.
I sometimes wake up in the night but if so then I drink water and am back to sleep again.
I only toughed it out one night because I was asked for a fasting sugar test next morning. I tossed until 1 or 2 Am thats when I slept. By 5.30 I was up already.
I have tried increasing my excercise to twice a day, 30 min AM and 30 min PM but it had no connection to my sleep. I did not think of it that way.
I do not take caffeine and my diet is healthy. Mostly fruit, veg and lean meats and fish.
Yeah, its a consollation to know that you are not alone.
Cheers!
Wow what a great site. I have suffered from anxiety (from alcohol) and panic attacks (from legal drugs which I definitely do not take anymore). This last few days have been a tough from alcohol, I wish I could give it up forever. The less the better and those 6 points you made above are very very valid. Thanks for this site and I will visit here and read all I can here soon again.
P.S.
I’m pretty fit, and physiologically I’m fine I’m sure, but that old anxiety after alcohol still makes me paranoid about my heart and I keep pulse checking. Alcohol is the cause of all of that for me. Anyway great site. Thanks.
Joel
After years of loving to drive my car and free my head, I have had to become more aware of my vitals every time I am in my car, working out, or doing anything. I have had more dr. appts then I ever wanted to pay for. I am a heavy drinker and I have been since my teens. My father was an abusive alcoholic. As most doctors would say that has something to do with me, but I STILL do not think that is the case. I know that I started drinking and smoking Cigs because I wanted to be the rebel that did not care and it worked…works… doesn’t. I was on generics of effexor then to zoloft, always with a side of klonopin first xanax, but that made me feel terrible. I have literally slammed my car into park on a highway because I was afraid I might hurt someone else when I am about to have a panic attack. I have gone to the ER because I thought my heart was exploding. I don’t have a “reason” to act this way. I have read all of these pleas, prayers, and supportive words. I still want to drink. I still want to avoid my Dr. and her report of enlarged red blood cells, but I also want to remember it is not just me. I have a list of people that LOVE me. It is not that easy anymore it is not just me. I HATE FEELING panic I HATE FEELING I have no control I HATE that I am not the person that everyone wants me to be. Drinking makes me feel guilty, but calm what the hell kind of thing can do that to you? Anyway, sorry for the rant Joel, things did get better for me on meds I am upset that I am on them, but they helped. Sorry for the on and on…and on.. thanks for listening
Elizabeth,
we are here to listen to one another. Today is day one of not drinking. I want to go for 2 or 3 months and see if the anxiety will go away. My license is also expiring so I will need to go for a drive test, but not in these nerves!! I need to be me again.
One question I have though is that if anxiety panic attacks causes the heart to race so hard and increase BP, is it possible that someone can actually get a heart attack as a results of this?
Joel,
Drinking will up the BP. However, anxiety causes us to worry about our health more than usual. Just check it on a regular basis. My family history have had heart attacks, it’s is usually just related to that. So, get a BP monitor, they are not expensive, and anyway, worrying may also increase the rate. Stay off the hard stuff, go back to light beers or light wines or anything but the stuff like tequila or vodka. Its usually the hard stuff that takes it’s toll. Do stay off the vodka. It’s the worst one out there, not that any of them are good and not that I am anything like an expert. I have a glass of wine in my hand right now and should not. But just ease off the hard stuff and go and get yourself a BP monitor. And just use it 3 times a week, not 3 times a day. We drinkers tend to get paranoid. Are you eating well? How are your stress levels? I do believe it is a combination of things. You will drive again. It’s not that hard to do it and you have done it before. In one of my Anxiety books I read about the ‘flooding’ method. Doing what you most fear. I tried it with flying again after a horrendous experience over the Grand Canyon. Now I fly all the time. Last year I probably flew 10 times, half way around the world and around the U/s. You can do it. No one can see your nerves but you. I think you will be just fine. Good luck! x
I have been drinking for about 3 years almost constantly
About a month ago i started to get panic attacks after a night of partying to hard nah mean
If i stop drinking for 3 months will my body heal and ill be able to drink without having to worry about panic attacks ????
The news is good!
My boyfriend had a long conversation with me tonight. He is an enabler so when my wine is running out he runs to the local store. However, he has never drank in his life and does not like my drinking but is a really really decent man and so we talked a lot. He said he wished so much that I would cut back as the difference in the month that I was off drinking was so wonderful because my art was so much more prevalent and that I did not need any pills.
I did cry a bit because I felt like I have been a fool, drinking wine all these years, bur really in truth I was happy because we were able to really be honest. The drinking just sucks.
I think I am happy with listening to music all night long when I should be sleeping. I think movies that are crummy are good when I drink. I don’t eat when I drink. \I am so glad we had a discussion and that he was able to tell me that the reason he did not want me to drink so much anymore is because he was scared of losing me since he loved me so much. With my brother at 45 just having a heart attack, it was hard to hear but necessary and I believe it will create a better relationship for everyone if I just cut down.
I told him how hard it was. I don’t get drunk, I don’t party but yet, my consumption of Chardonnay is way too high. He agreed to help which is great because I won’t drink and drive and I am not able to walk to a liquor store where I live. Thank God!