If your anxiety has come back after leaving you in peace for a while don’t feel bad. It’s normal. It’s also annoying and somewhat terrifying.
Just when you thought all this anxiety business was old news you can become accidentally immersed in it again, but this time you might have the sinking feeling that things are about to get a lot worse.
Sometimes a relapse is set off by a stressful situation or a big change in your life but, and I’ll be honest with you, sometimes it just happens for no reason.
It’s happened to me several times over the years. And although my anxiety never returned to the living hell levels of 1999, it does enough to get my attention every now and then.
I wrote about this issue in 2009 but never followed up with a podcast. It’s helpful to revisit this topic from time to time because for some reason after going anxiety free for a while dealing with it again can feel brand new in a horrifying way.
So in this week’s episode of the Anxiety Guru Show I explore anxiety relapse and how you can manage it and avoid another long stint of bad nerves.
Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
Great podcast Paul. For someone who has suffered 2 setbacks in the last 4 years, everything you said makes sense. Work has been the biggest stressor for me, although in the last couple of months, I’ve been able to keep the stress levels to a minimum (for the most part, although I have had some stress headaches pop up in the last few weeks.) I enjoy what I do, although at times I wish I did more (and got paid more to boot.) But hey, I have to work my way up the ladder right? Sure, having a second job doesn’t help, but I do enjoy it (my fiancee wonders if I’m outting too much on my plate, but right now, I feel great.) Yes, I have to pace myself, but I’m not as lazy or complacent as I use to be. I still have work to do, but I’m getting there (trying to overcome my issues with procrastination as well.) Need to stay busy but within reason.
What people should know about these setbacks is that they are opportunities to work on our anxiety. Although the anxiety I felt back in February was truly horrifying, I was stoked that it only lasted 3 weeks (the first one I had lasted 6 freakin months!) Yes, life was hell for 3 weeks, but I was better prepared and more knowledgeable of what was going on (which is why I think the first one lasted for what seemed like forever.) If I have another one, I will handle it better than I did a few months back. In time, I hope to be able to squash the oncoming setback within hours or minutes, at which point I might say I’ve overcome GAD for good. I’m not afraid anymore because I know they can happen “out of the blue.” So be it…
Have a good one.
Arturo
Hey Arturo, you make an excellent point. Although I’m sure no one welcomes a return of their anxiety it can be a golden opportunity to sharpen your stress management skills so that over time, when stress does become a problem, you won’t feel lost or hopeless about what to do. And I’m glad to hear that you’re doing so well. Great news!
Paul, so glad you came out with this podcast. You really hit the nail on the head on so many levels. I think it’s so important for people to realize that anxiety isn’t a flick of a light switch thing when you REALLY think about it. It probably took a loooong time to get to the “living hell” level that so many of us know, so it’s likely going to take just as long (if not longer) to get back to feeling “normal”. I had the “living hell” anxiety for the better part of 3 years – EVERY day. There were many coping skills that I utilized to help me come back to myself and feel a little better, but nothing has been more helpful than living with the fear and seeing all of it’s tricks and finally realizing that yeah, I’m going to be ok. I’ve always been ok even when things got ugly. Realizing that there is no instant gratification when it comes to anxiety is still the hardest part for people to accept I think; like you said, there is no silver bullet. You really just have to learn to live with it without getting impressed by the exaggerated symptoms and then you come to a point like I do every day where I’m like, “ok I’m feeling it a little now, no big deal….a few deep breaths….it will pass because it always has and always will”. Kind of like gravity – there’s a law that says that anxiety will always pass and that it will never harm you NO MATTER what”. It’s really that simple, but coming to accept it – yeah – totally different. I would hate to read this post a few years ago because I was in constant search of instantly feeling totally normal again. But living with the fear made me realize that if I could feel better just a tiny bit – even microscopically, then that was progress. I gave myself credit for that instead of beating myself up for something being “wrong with me”. Anxiety is 100% natural – every human being experiences it, but some at different levels. I’m like you; I have a baseline of an anxious personality. I use it to my advantage instead of harping on it. Just one final point: People, you really DO have to get off that couch and do SOMETHING. Sitting there feeling crappy is only feeding the anxiety. I always say that life isn’t gonna wait for me to feel 100%, and that’s not even a realistic goal anyway. Go for a walk, sweat, go fishing, go to the library, go to an art gallery or just window shop. Be physical and go be around people. Smile and put your best foot forward; all you can do is your best and nothing more. Keep moving forward. Listen to more AG podcasts while taking a walk around the block! Everyone is different, but anxiety is always the same – don’t be impressed with it. I don’t give two cents worth of attention when the symptoms come around, because I know by the time I realize they’re back, that they can just as soon take a hike, so I don’t fall for it and play that game. Anxiety is just a chapter in my life; not my whole life story. Thanks for all you do! ~Cheryl
Thanks Paul, makes a lot of sense. 🙂
There is no silver bullet, I agree.
You say tough that there is nothing new when it comes back out of the blue; that may be untrue. For me at least. My huge relapse last year saw the dawning of new symptoms that scared the crap out of me… Literally.
Namingly, the feeling that my ears were popping, like when you go in an elevator in a high building.
But I recognise them now as what they are; just anoyances trying to scare me. They suck but are less and less frequent.
😛
Keep up the good work!
We’re going to be ok. 😉
Thanks Paul – that really helped! I’m currently having my first real setback after a year of being mostly anxiety free. Listening helped remind me of what I already know – it will pass if I accept it. Funny how we forget all our ‘anxiety skills’ when the symptoms first strike again!
Paul, Thank You so much for this podcast. I have just found your web-site. I have been binge listening for the past week! This subject really speaks to me. I really have my anxiety managed pretty well, but high stress (part of life) can cause a relapse every now and then. That is an amazing statement considering where I was about 5 years ago. Now, when I do have a set back, it does not last long at all. I am loving your casual & calm, yet very informative & straightforward approach to coping with anxiety. The information that you are giving to the world is basically what I had to learn slowly piece by piece on my own, the hard way. Please keep up your amazing work! You are extremely inspiring.
Hey Zen Mom, thank you for the kind words. I’m glad you enjoy the show!
This is the best podcast for panic attacks. Period. From the laugh-track that starts the podcast, drifting into the corny panda bear piece followed by “Paul, I already know that”. Laughed my arse off in the middle of a panic attack. Blew the panic attack right out of the water. Having some stress (good growth type stuff) at work brought the attacks back after a long hiatus. I plugged in this podcast after all my breathing and self soothing did not do the trick. It really does hit all the marks.
Thanks for keeping it real.
Hello there, i have agoraphobia and panic disorders. I have social anxiety disorder. I have a real panic disorder and when i go to crowded places it gets hard to breath usain bolt heart beating sweating. I panic when i think they are judging me. People claiming they have panic disorders when they don’t know what agoraphobia is.
Thank you so much. Everything in this podcast was absolutely right and relevant to my situation at hand. I am so happy I stumbled across this in the Google search. What made me feel at ease was your natural approach and a few laughs thrown in! Most other podcasts are too serious for my ears and made me more anxious listening to them. You, however, made it light hearted and sent a message to me to “chill” my thoughts, yet GET UP AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE TO HELP YOURSELF! I can’t thank you enough. I have been medication free for some time and you have prevented me seeing my GP safe in the knowledge that I need to reevaluate things and get back into exercise that once cured my mindset of anxiety, combined with letting go of the stresses I have been taking on far too seriously. I was meant to find this tonight and you can never be thanked enough. Much appreciated.
I had a relapse this July after not having anxiety since 1990’s… I am dealing with it the best way I can. The doctor put me on burpar 10 mg 2x daily. Someday I feel like my self other days it’s like anxious and irritability… anxiety does not have me I have it!!!!! I hate it came back!!!!!!
Hi Paul,
Thanks so much for this, I love your thoughts and advice. Question – Do you think that medicine is being a “victim”? When is it necessary and when is it cowardice or avoiding the problem?
Reading these entries made me feel much better. I am having a strong relapse after being anxiety free for 1 1/2 0 two years. I got a bit run down and then got a bad cold and then suddenly, I was ‘there’ again. I forgot all the tricks in my toolbox and also feel soooo disappointed. I so love myself when I am not anxious. I absolutely got fooled that anxiety was done since I’ve been so happy and relaxed. It’s quite humbling but reading these notes made me feel better. I am not alone and it will pass – a bit in each hour is a victory. Or maybe in time (a week, a month – whatever it takes) more each day. Those are the small victories.