One of the biggest problems I had with unmasking my anxiety disorder and managing the related symptoms was tied to my utter ignorance about anxiety disorder(s) itself. The good news is that if you are reading this post than clearly you have some clue as to what’s bothering you. But don’t stop there because knowing is just half the battle (yes that is a line from G.I Joe).
I really didn’t know what I had back in 1999 when anxiety first struck me. I was confused, afraid, and worst of all I had no idea what was wrong. This leads me to the first part of my secret – getting the proper identification.
Professional Identification
Don’t underestimate this most basic of acts. Many people would, especially men, rather shy away from the prospect of seeing a head doctor or getting an anxiety diagnosis put in their medical record, but I firmly believe that it is one of the most important things you can do to start your recovery.
There is still a lot of stigma attached with mental illness of any kind and so it’s understandable why someone would rather not go semi-public but the alternative is worse. Being diagnosed by a medical doctor or licensed therapist is crucial because the mystery is removed and at that point you can develop some notion of what you should do next.
It took me something like 5 years before I was diagnosed and I only went because I thought I was losing my mind and I’m not exaggerating either. The night before I made the call for help I was walking up and down the street with a friend puffing on cigarettes with the strangest mix of physical symptoms and terrifying thoughts.
I was running my hands through my hair every few minutes to center myself because I really thought that insanity was imminent. That night I was sure I was going to die but not before something even worse was going to happen, I just didn’t know what that was.
So the next day I called my Universities psychology department and spent the next 6 months in therapy. The therapy didn’t cure me but it did two things that I really needed. It lifted what seemed like the weight of the world from my shoulders and allowed me to take a sigh of relief because someone, a trained professional, told me I was going to be alright. I simply needed believable reassurance and I got it.
Second, it set me on a path of learning that would enable me to become more familiar with the idea of having a mental ailment. We all think of injuries in terms of broken legs and the like, but this let me see that the mind could also be wounded but also healed. Learning about anxiety also became critical to the second part of my secret.
Education
When you set out to learn obviously your going to read a lot and during that learning process you create a library of information that you can rely on for comfort, hope, and a plan of action to help you recover.
Now when I say learning I don’t mean just the constant search for anxiety symptoms online. I mean looking for that AND things I can do to reduce or eliminate the symptoms. In other words I searched for the solution and not just the problem.
Semi Success
So by now, if your still reading, you have discovered that these suggestions are not really a secret at all, but wait there is a point to that. Point being that there is no secret that will help you conquer or kill your anxiety. There was a book and movie called the “Secret” and it basically told people to think positively and good things will happen. I think that this is generally true but it’s not a secret.
I came to realize that the way out of panic and anxiety is gradual and not immediate. The way out is made up of bits of information from here and there, advice and knowledge from this and that person. It’s a process that takes time and patience. Nowadays that’s hard to swallow because we want everything done as of yesterday, but with anxiety that’s just not the case.
My success with anxiety is a semi success because I am not fully recovered. I have however made a ton of progress and I am calm about 90% of the time. I haven’t had a panic attack for about 5 months and when they do come I don’t freak out like I did in years past.
I do get scared, I do worry, I am anxious sometimes but I have come a long way since 1999. In 1999 to sooth my anxiety I would lie in bed and stare at a 13 inch television set on a small table next to my bed. I would lie there and not move because I thought that this was the only way to avoid more symptoms, more fear. It was a very sad time for me.
Since then I have fought with apathy, anxiety and depression but I deal with it on a different level, basically not on my knees. I have never taken any drugs for my condition and for the most part rely on supplements, exercise and knowledge about my condition to get by.
I am still working on improving myself because I want to do more than get by. I want to be as happy as I can be. Happiness is relative I know but I will continue to strive to get better. When it comes to anxiety there are no secrets just the sober reality that no matter how you choose to cope you must help yourself.
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