My first panic attack happened in the fall of 1999. I was 19 yrs old and having the time of my life. I was in school, had lots of friends, and partied all the time. On this particular night however, I was with two friends and we were having a few drinks. I went to the john and while I was sitting on the porcelain throne it came. It felt like someone poured hot water down my back, I then became disorientated. My heart rate increased dramatically and my palms became sweaty. I thought it was the alcohol so I jumped in the shower hoping that I could shake it off. Three hours later I was still on the roller coaster ride from hell, I really thought I was losing my mind.
I jumped out of the shower and told my buddies that I was turning in early, but I didn’t mention, oh by the way guys I am freaking out right now! I went to my room and laid down and stared at the 13 inch t.v. near my bed and just prayed for this ‘thing’ to go away. I experienced anxiety and panic symptoms off and on for the next 6 months. I never knew exactly what was wrong. I was afraid to tell someone because I thought I was experiencing this because of prior drug use. I just tried to deal with it by myself. I didn’t get diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder until 2003. I spent at least three years completely lost and confused about what was happening to me. Up until that time I had never heard of Anxiety Disorder or anything related to nervous breakdowns. I was truly lost and afraid.
Eventually I sought help through my university counseling center. I was assigned to a wonderful psychologist that began to educate me over the next 6 months about what Anxiety Disorder was and how I could learn to manage it. After a while I stopped going because I appeared to be doing so well. But as soon as I stopped going I started having panic attacks again. So then I started to do research and learned as much as I could about Anxiety Disorder and all of it’s variations. That night was the start of almost a decade of panic attacks, palpitations, racing thoughts, mood swings, so on and so on. If you learn anything from reading this post, you should know that getting help is always a good idea. Don’t be afraid of the label or anything for that matter. It can save you years of wondering and suffering unnecessarily. That was my first time so to speak – what was your first anxiety or panic attack like?
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This is really a wonderful site.. like you i suffer anxiety and panic disorder 10 years ago until today! This happen when strange thought and rapid heartbeat arrive suddenly. I went to the restrooom to take a bath feeling that this sensation will lessen, until i decided to go to the emergency room. Until then, on and off panic conquered my life, no night life, no fun, just want being home to have rest rest rest! Worse thing is, last year rapid heartbeat put my mind that im going to be crazy, the fear of going crazy added my anciety.. when i am anxious i thought im going to die because of palpitations, when theres no palpitation i am thinking that i might go crazy.. fear of going crazy and going to die is the most worst happen to my life… my doctor a cardiologist gave me meds for hypertension lately this year because my bp went up from 120/90 to 160/100 every time i panic.. but i admited that i am on the pre hypertension range to mild hypertension because my usual bp is 129/90 and 130/80… back to anxiety, there was a time that in 1 month i went to emergency room 6 times and some resident doctors told me that i am only over reacting.. this anxiety ruin my life indeed.. but i am still hoping with GODs help i will feel better…. thanks
I am trying to remember my first attack right now and the earliest one that sticks out to me is an incident in the supermarket back when I was around 19 or 20(2005). I had just gotten my tooth pulled and I was in the supermarket getting some soups and easy foods to swallow. I’ll never forget I was all the way in the last aisle and then all of a sudden I started to feel really sick. Everything was LOUD and QUIET at the same time, I could hear my heart beating, the aisle seemed longer, and there was no escape from pathmark. I started to get the worse stomach pains, and I have a phobia of vomiting so my nausea triggered my phobia, which triggered my anxiety, which triggered my nausea. Don’t ya love the cycle? My heart was beating so damn loud and my hands were shaking. The rest is slightly vague but I remember crying, a lot, and SOMEHOW someone found my family that was waiting for me in the car. My gramps came in to get me and took me to the car where he drove me home. We chalked it up to the meds and stress of the tooth pulling. But that wasn’t the last time. Another incident shortly afterwards while I was driving, I had to pull into a bus stop because I could no longer drive, walked to the hood of the car and was ready to puke my guts out. Nothing. Just short gasps of breath, nausea, and the heavy chest feeling. No food, no dry heave, nada. Just me sitting on the hood of a car, in a bus stop, on a crowded street, in the middle of the summer, blending right in. The anxiety has never GONE away but has subsided for weeks to months at a time. But they’re never REALLY gone. Now its Dec 2011, just turned 25, and have been hit with a MYRIAD of stressors and my anxiety has shot through the ROOF so badly that I can only sleep for MAYBE 2 hours at time. I wake up MID panic attack. The attack JOLTS me out of my sleep. So last night while I was laying on the floor (since no where and nothing else felt comfortable) and somehow came across this site on my smart phone. And BOY am I glad I did. I have been reading everything I can on this site and listening to all the podcasts for the last 8hrs (gotta do something with this insomnia) and I have so far been able to slowly coax myself down from full blown sleep attacks. Those are the ones I need to get past first because I NEED SOME SLEEP. I will be downloading ALL the podcasts, the e book, and buying the book. This is the first time I have felt some relief in WEEKS. When my gf saw me this morning (after I emerged from my hiding spot) she said I LOOKED better and SOUNDED better. I still havent slept. I am still scared as HELL of a lot of things, and have my phobias. BUT I have taken the firs step in the direction of gaining control back of my life. So THANK YOU so much for this site.
My first panic attack was 5 months ago, I’m 37 yrs old, was watching tv around 10 pm, that day I feel like I’m going to have a flu, so i set up a bowl of hot water with a drop of menthol use for steam inhalation, we all do this in the family and relieves or prevents colds and flu faster, ok as I was doing this while my eyes where on the tv, I inhaled it a bit closer and faster, I suddenly get the menthol going up my face (which is practically normal) like a brain freeze feeling but I think I skip a beat or something that made me think I can’t breathe then BOOM! thats it, I stand up fast catching air, heart beats fast, tight chest, shortness of breathe and while this is happening my mind is pretty much aware and can still think like walking it back and fort while try to breathe properly and when I felt the stomach knotting and fainting sensation I kneel down in case I black out, while on the way to the hospital I kept rubbing my abdomen because i realized it kinda felt a relief doing so and the fainting sensation is annoying I even told my self ok I’m done, faint already… but I can’t that’s when I started to think I’m going crazy or losing control, at the ER was on a wheel chair, I tell every detail of what I’m feeling in every doctor infront of me (still breathing hard at that moment) a monitor was place in my finger while I wait to get an Xray, at the Xray room I have to stand and my legs are kinda weak like I’m going to fall down then at the ER room was place on a bed for the ECG test I notice I feel so cold especially my hands and feet, I told my self maybe there’s a few patient in the room and the air condition is at high, but those patient where lying down on their beds without bedding, then I realize it was just me so I ask for a bedding, after a few more minutes I felt so tired and sleepy.
Since then the old me was gone, imagine the trauma you get from near death experiences like a person points a gun in your head and anytime soon he can pull the trigger and everything is over, I feel this the moment my eyes open in the morning or when my chest hurt or get dizzy spells which happens all the time, I always think I won’t survive the day, everyday.
Hey Jason, thanks for sharing your story. I’m really sorry to hear about your panic attack, man those things suck. I hope you’re working towards reducing your anxiety on a daily basis so you can get back to the old you. It’s not easy, but it is doable. I became anxious in much the same way (a single panic attack), but since then I’ve learned how to manage my anxiety and have gotten rid of all the symptoms. Hang in there.
I have been dealing with anxiety my whole life – though didn’t know it was that until about two and a half years ago during my junior year of college.
I’d always been a “worrier” as my mom described it – but it was that semester that numerous stressors started to come into my life.
I was sitting in a small, intimate class and we had discussed changing locations after about an hour into the class – I came to expect this change but when it didn’t happen I felt my heart beating faster and this feeling like I HAD to get out of the room and I was going to crawl out of my own skin. Since it was a small class of about six people the others started to notice I was suddenly not myself (which didn’t help matters) and tears soon started to come to my eyes. I began to feel out of control very quickly. Without knowing how I got there though I realized I was curled up on the bathroom floor bawling my eyes out and trying to breath. The professor was knocking on the door trying to figure out what was wrong. I sat there for a long time trying to stop the tears by yelling at myself in my mind about how I was being stupid and embarrassing myself.
I didn’t understand what had happened but once I regained composure after a long while and walked back into the class to gather my things a sweet friend who had experienced her own battle with anxiety took me aside and asked me about what had just happened. though she of course couldn’t say for sure but she thought I may have just experienced a panic attack.
Following that incident, the next year turned into a year from hell. Sleepless nights. Pointless tears. Racing thoughts. Irrational fears. It took a while to find a therapist I felt comfortable with and a doctor who could help but since have found some relief.
Sadly in the last week or so I’ve seen a relapse of control over my anxiety and found Anxiety Guru in a fit of fear over returning to my pit of fear (talk about irony right?) but reading these posts have been so reassuring. Please continue doing what you do!!
My first panic attack happened about 4 years ago. I was in a really terrible relationship, and I remember one night I woke up and couldn’t breathe. I somehow managed to get to the bathroom, and I remember being huddled over the bathroom toilet, thinking that I had to puke. I was crying relentlessly, and I felt like someone had me in a choke-hold, like I just couldn’t take a breath. I could hear my heart pounding, and it scared me to death. I remember curling up into the fetal position until it went away. Ever since then, the panic attacks come and go. They’re terrible, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.