I was on my knees, tears surging from my eyes, when my uncle told me I was going to die. I felt something like despair, even pain, when he explained to me that all people vanish from the Earth. I can still see the 7 year old me slumped over two bony legs wondering how I could avoid this calamity. And you know what? I still don't want to die - not now, not ever. My desire to survive death has always been at the heart of my anxiety. Unfortunately, I didn't know that, and couldn't deal with it, until much later. That's why it took
How Relationships Boost Anxiety (and What To Do About It)
Have you ever wondered where your anxiety comes from? Have you ever thought about what keeps it alive? Some people think that it occurs in a magical moment, but let's not forget one important detail - magic isn't real. Abnormal anxiety doesn't just appear. There's usually a trigger, like a panic attack, in most cases though that's not enough to animate full blown abnormal anxiety. What if I told you that your family had something to do with it? Yup, you can even add your friends to the list. One of the biggest, and most ignored,
3 Reasons Why Memories Make Anxiety Worse
Memory is really a gift when you think about it. The bad news is that for all the good memory brings into our lives it also has a dark side. Memory feeds anxiety, tangles the truth, and stays with you forever. If you understand how this happens though it won't happen as much. 1. Misery Enhances Memory When you experience a profound emotional event you're more likely to remember it. There's more clarity, detail and impact involved with memories based on strong emotional reactions. Situations that call into question your safety (Or
Simple Is Better
Steve Jobs once said... You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it's worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains." Ain't that the truth? The problem is that simplifying our thoughts is complicated. Our minds are in constant search of connections, patterns and meaning, setting the stage for a whole lot of thinking and not much else. We often get bogged down in details that don't matter and stay distracted enough to miss all the important stuff. I'm no different. Take my
Bouncing Back From Panic
After experiencing your first panic attack or anxiety symptom you're immediately faced with a critical decision. You either take action or stick your head in the sand and hope for the best. On today's podcast my guest Julia Cardoso chose the former. I spoke with Julia over Skype and I got a fascinating glimpse into her struggle with abnormal anxiety. Luckily for Julia she's approached her anxiety problem with courage and determination. I hope she inspires you to do something about your anxiety problem if you haven't already. In this
How to Create a Positive Mindset in 3 Easy Steps
Most people have cognitive 'blind spots.' Simply put, it's hard to see our own thinking flaws and all the ways we keep ourselves anxious without someone else pointing it out. It's normal. As a therapist (Intern) I see it all the time. Someone mulls over a particular thought pattern or behavior that they've never examined before and bingo! They say something like "I never thought of it that way." It doesn't happen as often as I would like, but it does happen. Here's a question though: Is there a way to do this on yourself? Is there a
Planting the Seeds of Change
Picture this: A young guy sitting in the corner of a bedroom with his knees to his chest. He's sweating, praying and all alone. The expression on his face is one of utter hopelessness and terror. That was me in 2001 at the height of my anxiety. Luckily, things have changed. Last night I had dinner with my beautiful wife. We had some good food, we laughed, and I wasn't at all bothered by the 100 or so people around us. I couldn't have done this in 2001. The question is why? What made me a nervous wreck? I could give you some bloated
A Message to the Sometimes Anxious Person
Low-level anxiety is still anxiety. For that reason, any kind of anxiety that makes you think twice about it should never be minimized. People forget that there are those that don't get panic attacks, chest pain or palpitations that are still hounded my bad nerves. If you're one of these people you might be tempted to just put up with your anxiety because it isn't "that bad." To my mind this isn't a good thing. There might be people in your life that say things like "It's just anxiety" or "Just distract yourself." But these aren't
5 Years of Failed Blogging?
Can you believe it? I've been blogging for 5 years. I guess the old saying about time moving faster as you age is true. I can remember writing my first blog post in 2008 like it was yesterday. To be honest I have mixed emotions about this blog now. At first I wanted to create something remarkable. I wanted to create an important anti-anxiety resource. I ended up with something very different. For years I wrote blog posts and produced podcasts hoping that Anxietyguru.net would grow and evolve and you know what? It didn't. I tried
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