How to Stop Panic

Panic almost killed me one night.

At least that’s how I felt at the time. That was more than ten years ago now, but man did that night change my life.

You see, way back before I met my beautiful wife I had started dating this other nice young lady. This charming damsel had invited me to a small get together, and like a sucker, I went. By now I was already fully engulfed by nervous illness, but I went anyway because well… what can I say, I was blinded by the potential of it all.

So off we went in a small yellow hatchback car that was driven by some guy I can’t remember anymore.

After a short drive we arrived at  a small house located on the corner of any empty looking neighborhood. Up to this point I was more excited to be with my date than I was nervous or scared, so things weren’t that bad, yet.

That is until we walked up to the front door. A smiling girl opened the door widely and asked us to come in, and then I saw something that made my heart sink into my stomach. I saw what looked like 100 or so people crammed into that tuna can of a house.

The only person I knew was my date, so right away I got tense and apprehensive. We made our way through the crowd and I could feel 100 pairs of eyeballs laser beaming into my body, but I held it together and took a seat at the kitchen table.

About an hour later, it happened. I started to have a panic attack. The onset was sudden and I could feel myself breathing faster, and faster. At the same time my skin started to crawl with chills and my eyes began darting around the room because I became desperate for an exit.

But I didn’t have a point of reference because it was a strange house, filled with strange people. Outwardly I looked normal, but inside I was being tormented by the urge to run.

And right when I thought I was going to lose all control I caught a flickering light from the corner of my eye. I turned my head to the right and noticed a few people gathered around a small t.v. They were watching a movie called Cliffhanger, of all things. And even though I wasn’t a huge fan of the movie before that day, I was for sure afterward.

Cliffhanger distracted me from my palpitations and my chest pain. It took my mind off the sweating and trembling. I could still feel the panic clawing at my body, but watching that dorky movie was helping me out. I was scared as hell.

Then something amazing happened. My date got bored and decided that she wanted to leave, so I sprang up from my chair filled with eager anticipation and the kind of joy that I can’t even begin to describe. And as we walked out the front door and my foot hit the other side of the threshold my panic stopped; it disappeared as soon as the cool night air hit my lungs, but why?

Well, the obvious reason was that the threat was gone. I didn’t have anything to fear anymore. But later that night, and in the days to follow, I kept asking myself, how could I make my panic turnoff instantly like that? And could it even be done?

The answer is yes it can. You can shut off the fear response even if you’re still in a situation that is causing you to panic or feel intense nervousness.

After much trial and error I discovered that for me to calm my panic I needed to do three things.

1. Control my breathing: When your body is in a state of fight or flight being able to bring your breathing under control as soon as possible is critical. This is because when your breathing rate gets away from you you’re more likely to have the stress response ramp up.

Not only that, but the longer the panic or intense anxiety is allowed to develop the harder it is to bring yourself back to normal. So, turn to your breath and slow it down. Take deep breaths, focus on your belly, and try to breath in through the nose and out of your mouth. Deep Breathing is a panic killer.

2. Self-Talk: When panic strikes you have to jump in the captain’s chair fast. One of the first things the fight or flight response will do is turn off, or at least diminishes, your ability to think normally. Your normal way of thinking is temporarily stunned and this confusion leads to more panic.

It’s important to recognize panic and severe anxiety quickly because if you do then you’ll be able to use self-talk and statements of logic to calm yourself down. For example, “I’m panicking, this is a stress response, it’s normal, I’m going to be OK.”

3. A tight belly: By squeezing your stomach muscles tightly this will put pressure on a group of nerves that will signal your heart to slow down.

After that, you wait. Give it a few minutes and your body will return to normal quickly.

In the end, this horrible panic attack taught me two big lessons. One, panic attacks are almost never as bad as you think they are and two, you can do something to help yourself when it’s happening.

You simply don’t have to put up with this and suffer in silence.

Side-note:

Here is a link to an awesome article by Dr. Carrie Demers that breaks down the root of chronic stress, panic, and how to get it under control.

photo credit: dylancantwell