How To Deal With Crowds

One of the most common fears of anxiety sufferers is being stuck in a huge crowd. There is just something unsettling about being surrounded by hundreds or even thousands of people.

This fear however is normal and its also something that affects all people in some way. It just so happens that when you have anxiety the affect can be more severe.

With the holiday season in full swing it is more likely than at any other time of year to find yourself in a people storm. Whether it’s shopping, visiting family, visiting a theme park, or even going to the gym you might just find yourself in the midst of a crowd. So what should you do? Stay home? Of course not so let’s talk about a few of these situations and what you can do to cope.

Let’s begin with the most likely scenario, shopping. Whether it’s a grocery store, mall or discount warehouse it’s all the same, tons of people in a relatively small area. Being in a crowd can make you nervous, hot, tired, and worst of all it could set off a panic attack.

All the uncomfortable things you feel when your in a crowd, minus the panic, is what all people feel to varying degrees. The simple fact is that crowds stress people out. Unfortunately stress tends to set us off and so the problems begin.

However I do want to point out something that may help you the next time you find yourself in a jumbo sized retail maze. Have a plan before you go in. This rule is most effective for this scenario because if you have a list then you can get what you need and leave. By limiting your time in the store you are essentially limiting the amount and duration of the various stressors that you might encounter while inside.

In addition try to take someone along with you. I sometimes refer to these people as safe people. Someone close to you that you trust and knows about your anxiety issues. This way if something comes up you can explain to them the situation so they can offer reassurance and guidance while you decide what to do next.

This is true of all shopping situations. Know what you need, where it is, and go get it. This is of course only if you know or think that your going to have a problem that day.  If your up to it there is nothing wrong with a little browsing.

Whether its the mall or acme grocery just be sure to know that being at the store is not like work or school. You can leave at any moment. You have the exit you desire if you need it.

When it comes to other venues however, like theme parks, visiting family, nightclubs, or gyms things can be a bit more tricky and will require more fortitude on your part. Unlike shopping these places involve money and obligation so the exit part is more complicated.

As a result of this complication you may be required to stay longer and be more of everything. More nervous, more tired, more stressed and more ready to leave. Despite this you have to find useful ways to cope. No one likes to lose money and worse yet no one likes to upset family and friends, even unintentionally.

Let’s paint a picture to help illustrate a typical scene and good ways to deal with it. I’ll use Disneyland because that is a huge place that you don’t need to go to, cost lots of money and can make family or friends furious if you don’t stay all day.

So you’re at the gates of the Magic Kingdom and all is well. You paid an arm and a leg and you start your never ending journey and the entire time anxiety is lurking. You might be fine for a few hours until the midday sun hits its peak. You start to get thirsty, hot and you’ve been shoulder to shoulder with strangers all day.

You decide to take a seat on a bench to cool down. And that’s when it happens. You feel your heart rate increase, slightly lightheaded and you go from normal to white knuckle scared in 3 seconds. The first thing that might pop into your head, aside from the question “Am I going to die here?”, will probably be how the hell do I get out of here?

Then you look over and see your friends having a great time – smiles all around. Do you A tell everyone you want to leave or B try to find a way to calm yourself? Although option A sounds awesome right about now – let’s try option B.

Option B involves a few steps to head off panic or bring you back down from the heights of a panic attack. It’s best to use these techniques in order, but you can use them in whatever order helps you.

1. Breathe – That’s right take several deep breaths. Remember you’ll be in public so there is no need to draw attention to yourself. Take it easy breathe in and out slowly. Take a moment to purposefully relax your mind and body.

2. Take note of your thought patterns – If you find yourself saying things like, “oh no”, “what if?”, or any other negative thought pattern stop it. Redirect your thoughts away from the negative. Don’t deal with the what if, deal with the right now. If you’re not actually having a heart attack don’t think about one, etc.

3. Use positive self talk – literally tell yourself that you are fine. You are safe and not in any danger. It will pass.

4. Accept – Accept your thoughts and feelings. Don’t fight it. You have to relax and flow with the nervous feelings, with the anxiety. This will give you a chance to rest mentally.

5. Be patient – In my experience if you do the aforementioned and wait anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes you should be good enough to continue on.

Once you regain your composure move on with the day. Don’t start talking about it and by extension give the event more significance than is actually needed.

At this point you could get off that bench and continue your expensive journey through Disneyland.

With respect to places like family gatherings and the gym use distraction and a bit of planning. House full of family? Have to contend with the New Year resolution crowd at your gym? Pick your time wisely and distract yourself while you’re there.

Going to Grandma’s house of madness for Christmas? Then go a little late and leave a little early. Traffic and work are both great reasons to be a bit short. I don’t advocate lying but seriously you have to think about your well being and not necessarily spilling your guts to the family about your nervous problem.

Can’t fiddle with the times? Then make distraction your friend. Do the opposite of what your gut is probably telling you. Work the room and try to keep moving. Make your brain focus on the other, and that can be anything.

The gym is a bit easier. When it comes to working out you generally want to do it at the same time and days. So pick off times and days. Going after work Monday through Thursday may not be the smartest schedule for the anxious person.

Ultimately you want to be creative when it comes to dealing with crowds. It can be a mixture of self calming techniques, having a safe person, having a plan and picking and choosing your times. Be smart and don’t get yourself into a tight spot unnecessarily.

Sometimes you  just might not feel good. Bad day, bad week, well in that case get creative. Delay things, or change the plan altogether. Whatever it takes to continue on with your life – do that.

Coping with crowds effectively is an essential part of coping with your anxiety. You simply have to learn how to do this otherwise you run the risk of limiting your life experinces. And you should never allow anxiety to limit you.