Some time ago, you set out on a journey to cure your abnormal anxiety. And up to this point that journey has been a miserable failure.
But that’s not your fault. It just takes time. It takes time to find the thing that’s keeping you anxious.
Today, I want to help you bring your long journey to an end.
So to start, let’s go way back. Back to when this all got started. Do you remember your first panic attack? And what about those long days filled with nervousness? I know I do.
During those early days chances are that you were experiencing everything on a physical and emotional level. And as time marched on you also fell into a never-ending spiral of worry, fear, and frustration that’s made your life harder than it needs to be.
I know because the same thing happened to me. But I’m a thousand times better now and it’s because I figured out what was keeping me anxious.
And while I don’t claim to know everything about healing anxiety, I can vouch for what I’m about to tell you because it changed my life.
Since the day that you became ill you’ve probably been focused mostly on the effects of anxiety, like panic and whatnot. And who could blame you? After all, it seems almost impossible to ignore all the strange symptoms that anxiety throws at you doesn’t it?
But maybe, just maybe, it’s not about physical symptoms at all. In fact, I know it’s not. What is important is undoing the thing that gives life to your abnormal anxiety.
That’s the ticket.
If you want to cure abnormal anxiety and see the old you again, you’ll have to address the engine driving your anxiety and not just the visible results.
Luckily, you don’t have to dig into your childhood or anything to find the answer. Actually, the driving force behind much of your anxiety problem isn’t a mystery at all. It’s simply this:
Your beliefs.
It’s your beliefs that keep you in a state of anxiety.
The good news is that you can change your beliefs and in the process destroy the abnormal anxiety that keeps you chained to fear.
As you can see in the illustration above, everything flows from what you believe. Everything from how you see things, all the way down to how you act them out, is largely tied to what you believe.
So that if you believe that anxiety is dangerous to you either psychologically or physically then you will, in fact, live in a state of fear because you’ll always be expecting bad things to happen.
And as you wait, your self-confidence, sense of security, and your sense of well-being all get eroded over time.
Let me paint you a picture of how this all works.
If you believe that anxiety is dangerous then you will see everything related to anxiety as a threat. From the time that you adopt this false belief onward, every time you experience anxiety you’ll think that it will lead to disaster, insanity, or death. And this does nothing else except reinforce the idea that anxiety is something to fear.
Once that happens, you begin to expect anxiety, negative thoughts, anxiety symptoms, and so on. This in turn makes you worry, which leads to more anxiety, depression, and perhaps even obsession.
But the weirdness doesn’t stop there, because when your emotions get filtered by anxiety then your behavior also starts to change, sometimes without you even knowing it!
You stop doing things you used to like, avoid certain places, and in the process get locked into your own little world of self-pity and despair. That’s the chain of events that has turned you into who you are at the moment.
But that’s no surprise given that anxiety disorder — especially in its early stages — is almost always a full body, fast acting, visceral, and confusing condition.
The problem is that a lot of people get so shocked by this initial phase that they stay shocked.
The key to throwing anxiety off your back is to get away from the shock and your instinctual gut reactions to anxiety symptoms, and into logical patterns of thinking to help you dissolve the power of your anxiety.
That’s the key. Knowing that it’s not anxiety symptoms causing your trouble, at least for the most part. It’s your anxious thoughts that are responsible for your misery.
Thoughts that have been rinsed in the waters of your negative beliefs. Beliefs that are likely filled with misconceptions that have kept you from having peace of mind.
So, how do you change your beliefs in regard to anxiety? Glad you asked.
First, it’s helpful to understand that although it’s your beliefs that are keeping you in state of anxiety, it will be by changing your beliefs AND your interpretations, expectations, emotions, and behavior that you’ll reach recovery.
In other words, don’t think that changing your beliefs alone is enough. It won’t work that way because your beliefs are intertwined with your expectations and your behavior in such a way that it would be hard to disconnect and mold your beliefs separately.
But as you change your beliefs about anxiety, you’ll naturally start to deal with the other issues I mentioned precisely because they’re so closely related.
Of course, to get this all going you gotta do a little work. So let me describe the three things that worked for me and then you can decide how to approach your own situation.
1. Relax
The first thing I did was to relax. I did this through semi-hardcore exercise. I was going to the gym 4-5 days a week and working out for about an hour at a time. I think you understand the benefits of exercise so I won’t explain what they are here. It’s just good for you, real good.
Try to do it any way you can 3-4 times a week. You can also relax through yoga, mediation, deep breathing, or even by using medications prescribed by a medical doctor.
This bit is important because if you’re not relaxed you’re going to keep getting distracted by your symptoms and general feelings of nervousness. So just find a way to relax, even if it’s just a tiny bit at first.
2. Accept
If you ever want to get better you’ll have to accept everything about your anxiety episodes. Don’t cheat yourself and say that you accept everything about your crazy thoughts, weird phobias, or scary physical sensations just to tense up when they happen again. If you do then you’re only cheating yourself and no one else.
To accept means to let go and float. To realize and accept that chest pain is going to happen, palpitations, outrageous thoughts, sometimes just plain bizarre things will happen. But it’s o.k., really it is, because anxiety won’t kill you.
Another important part of learning how to accept was for me to stop assuming. I stopped trying to guess what was going to happen to me, which was great because it turns out that I’m not psychic. I was always wrong about what I thought was going to happen to me. I soon realized that there’s no point in living anywhere else but the present.
3. Learn
To change your beliefs the most important thing you’ll need to do is to educate yourself. I found that learning about the autonomic nervous system, the fight or flight response, assumption, anxiety, the neurotic paradox, cognitive behavioral therapy, adrenaline, and acceptance was my key to freedom.
Learn about the things I listed in great detail. Buy or borrow books, go online, do research, immerse yourself. At the end of it you’ll be empowered and have a basis for alternative thoughts that can be used to replace your anxious ones.
Final thoughts
The other thing is that sometimes people get addicted to anxiety. It becomes a poisonous habit that leads them to online symptoms checkers, self-pity forums, and chats with people who enjoy chasing their own tail.
Don’t be like that. Don’t act like a victim that can’t help themselves. That is completely and utterly not true. You can defeat abnormal anxiety if you want to. I did and I promise you that there isn’t anything special about me.
What I laid down here is the blueprint I developed and followed to destroy my own abnormal anxiety. Whether you use or not is up to you. But however you decide to deal with your abnormal anxiety, just make sure you try something.
Keeping in mind that if you change your beliefs — how you think — then you will be on your way to recovery.
One last thing, remember that if you don’t feel confident about learning all this on your own you can always consider seeing a therapist to help guide you.
P.S.
Don’t forget to listen to the podcast and comment below!
And if you want a detailed plan on how to change your beliefs check out my special report How to Stop Anxious Thinking.
You are awesome!! Thank you so much for all your hard work it is much appreciated!! Please don’t ever shut down shop..we need you! I need you..LOL.
Thanks Jeanie. Don’t worry, l don’t plan to quit. I just wanted to remind everyone that I value their feedback. I will keep on. I’ll be here for you. 🙂
Excellent podcast, Paul. It’s one like the motivation podcast that I think people can listen to repeatedly to really get use out of. The point about symptoms not mattering is so important. When symptoms stop mattering, they tend to stop occurring. Easy to say… a little harder to practice, but absolutely true. It’s what we should all strive for.
Appreciated the podcast–thank you. Always look forward to them and benefit from them when they come.
@ Bryan: Hi Bryan, I think you got it exactly right. It is hard to practice, but it’s worth the effort.
@ Michael: Hey Michael, thanks for taking the time to comment. Always a pleasure to hear from people that benefit from my work.
Thanks so much for the blog and podcasts. I just discovered them recently, and the information they contain is giving me a lot to think about. As one of those who tends to Google and analyze everything to death at the expense of doing, I am just starting to learn the value of overcoming my natural inertia and doing something, even if it is just taking a walk, journaling, or getting involved in a support group.
Hey Teelea, that is indeed the key. Doing something. So many anxiety sufferers get caught up in symptoms and stay there. But of course that only makes things worse and last forever. So glad to hear that you’ve decided to find a solution to your anxiety problem. Good news! =)
When I am nervous I lose my voice. For many years I was a professional singer, beginning when when I was 12 years old. I was the child star on a very popular radio show for 5 years and began singing in very nice dinner clubs and cocktail loungesafter that. It didn’t bother me at all to appear before large audiences, but I was never able to speak confidently, or comfortably before even a small audience.
My daughter, who I adored, died in 1989. She was very bright, extremely intelligent, beautiful, she was my world, but she was an alcoholic. This absolutely worried me to death, to watch her self destruct was almost more than I could bear. I don’t drink at all, so possibly it was even harder for me to accept the fact that she was an alholic. It was during these years that my blood pressure began to be high, (before that I had always had low blood pressure.) I have been taking medicine for high blood pressure ever since. I appear to be self confident, but I am not, and the way it effects me is that my voice just leaves me. I have to strain to speak and I sound awful. I’m not able to sing at all, not even in the bath tub, my voice is just gone. I am aware that blood pressure medicine is the cause of this, and I know too, that I suffer from chemical allergies, and apparently nothing can be done about that. But even when my allergys are not acting up my voice just goes away when I am nervous. Is it possible, is there anything I can do? I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Billie Burton Daniel
web988@aol.com
Hi Billie,
First off, my deepest condolences on your daughter. As for your issue… that’s a lot of information you gave, there. Have you been in therapy at all? Losing a family member, coupled with your other medical issues would seem to necessitate some regular therapy for anyone. As for your voice, this sounds like a byproduct of anxiety, but the way you describe it… it doesn’t exactly sound like panic or even GAD, necessarily. But, it does sound like a nervous issue. I’m thinking there may be a few things going on here, and you probably need to spend some time with a professional getting to the bottom of it. You’ll need to find ways to cope, accept and build your confidence back up.
Best of luck to you, and I hope you get your voice, and your stability back. It can happen if you are willing to put the work in.
Hey Billie,
I’m very sorry to hear about your daughter. I don’t think any words I could offer in that regard would suffice.
In terms of your voice, sounds like that’s an issue for your doctor. There could many reasons that this could be happening.
With regard to your self confidence, well you gotta build that up with good ole hard work. Practice the things you think you can’t do and over time you will regain your lost confidence.
Most importantly, don’t let anxiety get you down. It is very controllable. Hang in there Billie, and if you have any other questions I’m happy to answer them best I can.
This website has tremendously helped me with my own struggle with anxiety. It’s been an amazing touchstone for educating myself on what is happening with my mind, body, and soul. In the last six months I have drastically improved my health. I still have some anxiety but it’s a puddle compared to the ocean of helplessness I felt mere months ago. I know this website, the podcast,the forums, links, comments,etc got me to where I am today. It made me realize I wasn’t alone which is very comforting. Thank you for all of your support Paul.
Hi Sunny,
Thank you for taking the time to say such a nice thing. It feels good to know that you’re doing better because of Anxiety Guru. That really is terrific. I appreciate your support.
Palesa 17
hey. i loved this video. first i watched this and then i read your about me and about this site section; you are really good at showing you care and you can tell its not fake. you wrote you have an extreame desire to help people like me and its really nice to know theres a site like this.
i was gonna email you but in the end i wasn’t nesscerilly sure if my problem was the same as yours? its just that the core of my anxiety seems to be an extreame fear of being sick which i’ve heard is fairly common. however i can’t leave my house.i only leave my house when i’m practising walking so obviously i’m not in scool right now. um i’m able to go aboutt 1 and a half miles and then i feel the need to go back. so when i’ve anaylised it over in my head i come to teh conclusion that it is because i’m that scared of being ill and i was wandering if i should go out of my way to seek a specialist that deals with emetaphobia..or how can i really be 100% sure its about being sick inn the first place. being an aniety sufferer yourself obcourse you know what its like when you’re reactions don’t make sense at all. and what is when i think of the fear and then i think of my reaction. its like tehres nothing inbetween. i have treid to capture my thoughst when i’m faced with a worry i might get ill or if i see sick or if i smelll it and its like tyhe fear is “hollow” theres no steps inbetween the behaviour i have and what it actually is. and after 2 years of having this and genralised anxiety disorder and being sick and tired of pretty much agoraphobia i’m so confused.
sorry i know this is abit long; i’m an analyst also 🙂 i could write so much more.
Hi Palesa,
It’s always a good idea to seek help. Going to your family doctor is a good start. After you rule out any physical sickness, you can then move onto therapy as another option.
From what you describe it sounds like anxiety you’re dealing with. But try to see the appropriate health care professionals first, then go from there.
You’re going to be OK. Just make sure you know that you can help yourself, and that anxiety will never harm you.
Hi Paul, Thank you so much for doing the podcasts, the website and blogs. I really appreciate all of the hard work that you put into, to help us all to cope with anxiety. I especially found this article and podcast on abnormal anxiety of value.:-)It is just what i needed to hear, was starting to lose hope recently but thanks to you I feel like there is hope afterall.
Yr Awesome! 🙂
Thanks Tony. Feedback like yours is what keeps me going! Hang in there.
Paul,
I love it! “Abnormal Anxiety”! That is exactly what it is and you address it quite well! If only doctors could inform themselves with this information. Anxiety or “abnormal/inappropriate anxiety is NOT a mental illness. It is a habit stemming from any number of possible life situations either obvious or something we may be totally oblivious of.
Thank you!
Jeff
Thanks Jeff! You got it right. That’s why it starts slow and snow balls. Not because we’re nuts, but because we get caught up in anxiety and stress and don’t know how to slow it down. But it is controllable!
hi my name is jess, ive had anxiety for long while and ive had a really hard time falling a sleep lately , almost insomnia . im afraid i wont be able to sleep and keeps me up all night and extremely anxious all day has this ever happened to you . my anxiety is like and up and down ride . one minute im in a state of uncontrollable feelings and obsessive thoughts about how i feel and and doubts of never getting better and only worst and all symptoms. and times where i feel im fully accepting everything and be ok with it completely, knowing im gonna be able to do this. i really love this site coz it make me feel like im not alone and reminds me of what i need to do. extremely helpful. and i love how you are always in touch with the ppl that comment . its really reassuring . its great what your doing and im really happy i found this.i want to know for my own benefit if its normal to have these up and down feelings and moods about anxiety and if its part of recovery.
Hey Jess, the answer is a big yes! Anxiety is the world’s lousiest emotional roller coaster. One day you’re up and feel like you’ve got things under control, the next day you might feel like you’re falling apart and on the verge of going crazy. This does happen. Don’t lose hope though. I always tell people that in my darkest days I thought that I wouldn’t be able to go on. Now, my life doesn’t resemble the old anxious me in the slightest. I am in control, happy, and rarely anxious. But that’s not because I’m special, or different. It’s because I taught myself about all the things I mentioned in this article in great detail and stuck with it. I believed in it. You can do this Jess. You just gotta find the right mix of things that work for you. The most important thing is that you just don’t wait for this to go away. Instead, try to work your ass off to find solutions that work, and practice those solutions until they’re a part of your daily life. I know what you’re going through, it’s hard to say the least. But don’t quit. Don’t ever quit trying to get better. Time will take care of the rest.
Hi Im very impressed with your FREE site video and info-only just found it. I am struggling as are many people and WILL give you feedback when I know how things are going which i hope will be up. A lot of work has gone into this & I appreciate it VERY MUCH.
Best regards
Marlene Brace
Paul, just want to let you know that you are a generous person who really doesn’t have to do what you do, but you obviously care about others. You are a true gentleman. Thanks for the info.
Regards
John
Paul,
I have been suffering from anxiety for the past 4 months and I am so glad I found your website! This has been the most helpful resource I have found for curing my anxiety. I have spent the past few months in total panic and confusion but since finding your website and lessoning to your podcasts I have started to cope with my anxiety. Thank you for all you do! Please keep up the good work!
Thanks Josh. I appreciate the feedback.
I’ve suffered from GAD/panic disorder for 10 years. I never even realized what it was when it initially struck, I thought I just had an undiagnosed illness! I never realized anxiety could cause such severe symptoms, and I developed health anxiety in turn. I thought this podcast was very good. I believe, as you mentioned, that my salvation is in identifying my false beliefs (fears) and replacing them with the corresponding truths. I must interpret, internalize and believe them to change my emotional conciousness. I’ve seen quite some progress with B-Complex vitamins and taking on jogging a couple miles a day. There is still much work to be done but I now believe that I can overcome the symptoms of this disorder and even be “drug free” with new healthy lifestyle choices and cognitive behavioral changes. I recently read that anxiety disorders affect over 40 millions Americans, or about 18% of all US adults over 18 years of age. This is a serious problem for this country. Thank you for all that you do in helping bring aware and offering helpful advice!
A big thank you Paul! This podcast was just what I needed to hear today!
Thank you so much Paul!!
I have done exactly what you said not to do.
I have been worrying to much about what is going to happen next and how I can avoid it. I have also wasted my time trying to figure out what I have. I know I think too much, and that’s probably one cause of my anxiety. I hate the feeling. It’s like a rush of air either trapped of inflating within my thoracic cavity. All I know is that it’s a weird feeling.
I noticed also that I haven’t exercised in so long. I used to go to the gym twice a day. 7 days a week.
I am definitely taking your genuine advice and hitting the gym again.
Exercise does help me relieve from whatever has been bothering me or is bothering me at the moment. I thank you so much for your awesome work and dedication in helping others!
You are a leader, a great role model Paul.
You are more helpful than you know. One of the most comforting things when you are battling anxiety is when you hear of others and the symptoms that they experience. I strongly refuse to take medication and am determined to fight through this. I would love to be in contact with you more. Please know that what you are doing is saving lives and giving people like me hope. Anxiety is the devil. Thank you so much. And please don’t stop what you are doing!
Thanks for sharing! I really enjoyed it and I’ll use your advise definitely!
Amazing! I love the paragraph about scripting chest pain and palpitations! Lol chest pain is what gf’s ruined my last 3 or so years and caused me to come here.
I’m such of being obsessed
You are caring,intuitive, well informed and are a regular guy that has all the tools of unlocking this terrible vice (anxiety). I did a podcast with you years ago that helped me and I hoped it helped others
Are you sure you were not married to Claire Weeks? Keep up the good work
Thanks Peter, that’s kind of you to say.
Hi Paul
9 month ago I believed , due to my anxiety symptoms ,that if I kept working out, I would die from heart attack. It is you and your website made me go back to exercising. The fear is gone.
It helps me to deal with other issues ,that are created by anxiety ,but I really believe , I will be fine. Thank you Paul and please keep this website alive. Sorry for my English, I am not from USA.
Tengo
Thank you so sooooooooooooooo much for the website….it has helped me in ways you cannot imagine…..As we say in the UK,,”THANKS MATE,,
Thank you so much for this information. I’m in the middle of benzodiazepine withdrawal, so my anxiety and physical symptoms are very intense, but reading your article made me forget about them temporarily. It also gave me hope that I may eventually heal and be able to overcome anxiety.
I have been dealing with anxiety for a few months now. I just found your website, and the things you say seem to really make sense. I just need to put them in use….
Thanks, I enjoyed your podcast. very helpful
Crystal
Just listened to the podcast. Your a good guy paul. Hope i can get over this condition soon! Have a session with psychiatrist next week, cog therapy! Sceptical, but heres hoping.
Keep an open mind Mark. I wish you the best!
Just bought your ebook. Keep at it. Just because some people dont comment doesnt mean we arent out there .!
Thanks Oron, I appreciate the feedback!
Awesome post Paul..
Learning everything about anxiety was the ticket for me.
When I knew that it really was anxiety that was causing my weird bodily sensations and strange anxious thoughts and not some very serious mental or physical illness
I believe learning to change the reaction you have to the anxious thoughts and sensations acutely reduces the effect they have on you and this stops the cycle. It absolutely can be done.
Our brains seem to have a way of sticking on thoughts or feelings that we have a strong emotional reaction to. Of course it’s difficult not to react with fear and confusion to some of the sensations or thoughts we have when dealing with anxiety…but by learning through education not to speculate and not to mentally label them we can break free of them.
Cheers
Frank Foster
Queensland, Australia
I agree 100% Frank. Getting better isn’t easy, but it can be done!
Thank you Paul for taking the time to present us solutions and great advice in handling anxiety. I came across this article and several podcasts and they helped me tremendously.
A broken relationship, loss of a dear loved one, moving away from family for the first time, lay off, career change; pretty much an array of dominoes. After going through my stages of depression, a series of life events. It lead me to jump out of the life of a victim and move forward. I believe that is when anxiety and all the ugly came out full force. Like you and many of your readers attest to, that is when it gets hard, when change occurs. It was easy to be depressed, angry and negative. It takes effort to be happy, positive, to thrive! A choice, really. How simple it is, but not when one is stuck in a rut. Needless to say, with all my resources it is still up to me (or you reading this) to rise above it all and live for the present. Thank you again and I will leave this comment with a quote from Eckhart Tolle that continues to help me…. “Some changes appear negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created for something new to emerge.” love and light to you all.
I want to sincerely thank you for these emails. It’s extremely uncanny how they seem to appear at just the right moment for me. I truly for the first time feel like there’s hope, that I’m not alone… And there is a spark of excitement at the prospect of getting my life back finally. Your work is the best out there that I’ve seen and I’m just so thankful for it 🙂
I suffer high anxiety my symptoms are all psycological it, s like my mind goes over & over stuff from past it never stops & I get loads of what if, s & like I panic when they hit although it, s not a panic attack my mood is low also gwt angry easily & upset I seem to doubt second guess everything I question my sanity alot also my love for mychildren.
Hi, i would like to personally thanks you for all this. i believe i got an anxiety disorder. i’ve went to hospitals few times for ecg and finally do my full medical checkup just to be informed that i am ok. My mind keep playing pranks on me saying that i am having some sort of heart disease. I am new to your website but i think i am going to learn a whole lot here. I deeply thank you for this sir. Thanks a lot 🙂
What do you do when you get anxiety from the medication you take. Do you treat the anxiety the same way?