When most people think of the holiday season they think about Christmas gifts, food, and lights but when you have an anxiety disorder you might be focused on your nerves instead. We’ve all heard of people getting the holiday blues, but what about holiday nerves?
The holidays unfortunately can present an anxious person a lot of potentially panic causing events. Crowded stores, visiting friends and relatives, travel, the coming of a new year, even shorter days can all be enough to get you down.
This past thanksgiving I visited my parent’s home and it was wall to wall family members. I was very uneasy virtually the entire time. Mainly because I haven’t seen many of them in years so every body wanted to get close and have a good chat. But as an anxious person long talks, especially in crowded rooms, can cause anxiety. So suffice to say I was eying the exit more than a few times.
It can make you feel trapped and even pressured to stick around long after you’ve reached your anxiety threshold. This is true of all people heavy situations – even going shopping this time of year can make you pause cause you ask yourself "do I really want to mix it up with all these strangers"?
But of course you can’t avoid it so you have to get in there and rub elbows despite the sinking feeling in your stomach. We all do so in this regard you’re not alone by any means.
Even with all my Jedi mind tricks I still get nervous, but that’s o.k. And that is my message for you today. The fact that you know 10 different breathing techniques, exercise like mad, and eat a well balanced diet is great but it does not mean that you won’t feel bad sometimes , but like I said that’s o.k.
I can clearly remember being in a large department store recently and thinking, "I really don’t want to be here, how can I leave without ruining my wife’s shopping day?" I then thought "oh yea I don’t have a choice so I’ll have to ride this one out". And one it comes to holiday nerves this should be your mantra. Ride it out.
It can all be so unpleasant. You don’t want to embarrass yourself so you try hard to not look worried and soldier on. But let me just say that it is normal and safe to be nervous in crowded places – especially if you have an anxiety disorder. Don’t feel bad about feeling bad and instead realize that no matter the goings on you will be o.k. and running home isn’t necessarily going to make you feel better – at least not in the long run.
In fact you can use the holiday season to test your progress. You can use it to test and try various coping mechanisms. Make it a useful time and don’t wallow in self pity.
There are so many things in life that are outside of our circle of influence but I can assure you that you can influence your attitude toward anxiety. Loosen that intense grip you have on yourself and enjoy your day.
The moral of this story is that despite the fact that the holiday season can bring on feelings of dread and concern it’s the anxiety and not Christmas itself that’s making you worried sick – literally. It could be winter, spring, summer or fall and you can be nervous in any or all of the four seasons.
In other words, don’t over emphasize your fear or dislike for winter festivities. It’s anxiety no matter when it happens and so the "rules" are all the same. Set realistic expections for yourself, relax your reaction to anxiety, and most importantly have fun.
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