As if anxiety sufferers didn’t already have enough to worry about, there is now growing evidence to suggest that people with anxiety disorders also have higher rates of sexual problems.
We are all familiar with the more common anxiety symptoms like palpitations, racing thoughts, perfuse sweating, but now you can add sexual aversion, sexual dysfunction, and a lower libido to the already long list of things you already hate about having an anxiety disorder.
Sexual Aversion
Sexual aversion is very much like it sounds. The intense avoidance of sexual intimacy which is “characterized by disgust, fear, revulsion, or lack of desire in consensual relationships involving sexual contact”.
Sexual aversion can develop into a syndrome and effects men and women at similar rates. The avoidance of sexual contact researchers believe is related to performance anxiety, fear of over stimulation, or just plain not liking your partner.
Sexual Dysfunction
This type of sexual problem can also affect men and women equally since, “induced by different stressors, anxiety can distract from erotic stimuli… this may result in poor erection (erectile dysfunction) in males and cause a reduction in lubrication and clitoral tumescence in females”.
Although some may not categorize it as a sexual dysfunction, many male anxiety sufferers also suffer from premature ejaculation. It is thought that fears of not meeting a partners expectations or feelings of possible failure account for much of this phenomenon. Keep in mind however that these and other sexual conditions can also have a phyiscal basis as well.
Lower Libido
As anxiety sufferers get wrapped up in their daily fears and worry it can easily take away from ones interest in their partner. Anxiety in this way consumes a persons libido because of the stress and energy needed to worry excessively.
Stress can also cause fatigue and irritability, both of which do not aid in the fostering of a close intimate relationship. The phrase, “sorry honey I’m too tired” comes to the fore much more often in this case.
Simple Fear
This is very basic and has no fancy scientific label. The bottom line is that sex increases your heart rate, and anxiety inducing chemicals like adrenaline. As a result, having sex for some can cause feelings of panic and apprehension.
Heavy breathing, a fast heart rate, sweating and all the rest of it can trigger panic in some. It can even trigger panic and uneasiness well after you’ve stopped and are trying to go to sleep.
This is very similar to the fear that some anxiety sufferers have of exercise. Anything that resembles a panic attack is just avoided. But of course like exercise, sexual intimacy is an all around good thing.
What To Do
This is a tough cookie to crack even if you don’t have an anxiety disorder. Researchers simply don’t know the exact reason(s) why anxiety sufferers have high rates of sexual dysfunction and acknowledge that much more attention needs to be paid to this neglected topic.
That being said, if an anxiety sufferer is experiencing phyiscal dysfunction than the first place to start is the doctors office. Because sexual dysfunction can be a phyiscal problem, sometimes a physical solution is required. There are many new therapies that are now available and talking to your doctor is great way of finding out what they are and if they can work for you.
If your issue is more mental however, than of course the issue becomes more about anxiety and stress reduction. Moreover, sometimes we simply have to try harder. Despite the difficulty of getting started, it is a well documented fact that a healthy sex life can boost your immune system, fill you with endorphins, and create a stronger bond between you and your partner.
Sex is always a difficult topic to talk about for obvious reasons, however its always a good idea to have an open channel of communication with your partner about any possible sexual problems you may be facing. In the long run its better to get these issues out in the open and discuss ways to cope with them in a healthy way.
Reference
Archives of Sexual Behavior, August 2001, Vol 30, Number 4 pp. 369-379
Msnbc article “More Sex, Less Stress”
Psychiatric Times August 1, 2007 Vol. 24 No. 9
To some extent I think this porblem ruined my previous relationship. It is a diicult problem to takle – especially when you have a tendency or avoiding things that make you feel unomrotable!
What do you mean “Researchers simply don’t know the exact reason(s) why anxiety sufferers have high rates of sexual dysfunction”?
The therapeutic and medical communities do know exactly by what mechanism anxiety causes sexual dysfunction. Anxiety, even subconscious anxiety, triggers the body’s “fight or flight” mechanism releasing the hormones cortisol and adrenaline into the bloodstream. This is turn shuts down a person’s sexual systems. In men this can cause a loss of sexual desire which in turn will prevent him from ejaculating during intercourse in situations where the anxiety is relatively mild and a complete loss of the ability to get and keep and erection when the anxiety levels are higher.
Thanks for the info Jojo!
I am on Clonazepam 0.5 mlg every other day, I have been having some issues with this medicine. One of them is lost desire for sex! I hate to admit it but it’s true. My marriage is on the edge because of this problem. Gutting the medicine off is even harder but am on it, it’s worth it.
If that were true, women that get raped would not become aroused because of this flight or fight technique. Whatever that politician was ridiculed in the media for saying women that get raped have a natural way to avoid pregnancy would be factual ramblings, not ignorance. So… not really.
If women have an exception to your statement, I have no doubt men have one, too.
My husband is going through this and it’s being very difficult for me to be supportive. Sex has been a very important part in our relationship and now that it’s missing, I feel neglected. He doesn’t really tell me what he feels and he’s reluctant to seek therapy. I’ve mentioned therapy before and he just doesn’t seem interested in my help. I don’t have anybody to talk to and I’m starting to feel desperate and irritated all the time. Help!
I’ve been dating a truly wonderful, kind considerate man with a terrific sense of humour. I really love him, he feels like my soulmate and we have discussed moving in together. He is very affectionate, but hardly ever touches, or caresses me in a sexual way. Although he has been to his GP and been prescribed Viagra, he hardly ever takes them and on the occasions he has, he can’t seem to get, or maintain an erection. He doesn’t attempt any foreplay, which I love and need to get aroused. He just seems to want to get on top of me and get it all over and done with. Although I’m in my late sixties I still crave intimacy. I get very frustrated lying next to him in bed. He was married for 25 years and has three children. He has also had many girlfriends since he was divorced. He suffers with anxiety and takes Clonazepam. I do want to move in with him, but am afraid I might resent him for his lack of sexual interest in me.
Hi every one..well, I’ve been struggling with sex coz of stress.my wife of 20 years , do not care to have sex and it’s been taking a toll on me. She have other anxiety disorder issues ,.she gets up and leave for no apparent ..the stress results came back..
I have suffered from the inability to get and hold an erection or achieve orgasm ever since I started having sex in my teens. I’d be fine the first time I had sex with a woman, sometimes the second. But usually around the third sexual encounter I would begin to suffer from these dysfunctions and then would lose all sexual desire for the partner. I rarely had any relationship that lasted more than a few weeks. Interestingly, I didn’t have the problem when I had paid sex.
This went on for 15 years. It didn’t bother me much as would just move on to another partner when the dysfunctions would start.
I put off marriage until I was almost 40 believing my problems were caused by the fact that I was easily bored sexually. But when this started happening with my future wife we sought help by going to therapy. We spent almost 5 years going from therapist to therapist with no luck and finally my then wife gave up and accepted that the marriage would be sexless. I continued on for another few years going by myself. I finally found a psychiatrist who, rather than trying to treat the sexual dysfunctions as the others had, began investigating my childhood and came up with the idea that unconscious sexual anxiety caused by childhood abuse was causing the dysfunctions. Any time a relationship began to get emotionally intimate my brain would go into panic mode and release chemicals/hormones which shut down my sexual desire.
Despite the diagnosis, no one has been able to cure me and my marriage has been sexless for over 25 years.