Anxiety disorders and depression are by their very nature serious things. So serious in fact that they both tend to suck the fun and joy out of life for extended durations of time. As a result I wanted to help some of you relax a little by sharing some jokes about anxiety and depression. Yes it’s true, all this nuttiness can be funny.
It’s been known for some time that laughter can serve as a great supplemental therapy for things like stress, anxiety, and depression. It increases feel good chemicals like dopamine and simply makes you relax. Below is a great selection of dopamine inducing, relaxation promoting, big smile material.
The HotLine
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
Q and A
Q What’s good about depression?
A You always have your funeral planned in advance,
Q What’s good about being depressed?
A Nothing. But it’s no worse than anything else since life sucks anyhow.
Q What’s good about Treatment Resistant Depression?
A You qualify for all the Clinical Trials!
Q What’s an advantage to Major Depression?
A You never have to make your bed, since you’re always in it.
A Little Stand Up
| Jokes.com | ||||
| Rich Vos – Anxiety and Depression | ||||
|
||||
– If you can’t see the video follow this link.
Sketch Comedy
A Personal Struggle
“I hate when people ask me the time on the street ’cause something happens to me. I just panic. I can’t read my watch. When I’m alone, I’m great at reading my watch, but when someone asks me, I just have this anxiety attack, and I just can’t make it out… I always end up saying something useless, like, ‘It’s 20 of 9:40.”
How To Handle Stress: Click Here.
A Joke
Severe Stress: A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” The doctor continued, “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.” On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?” To which his wife responded, “He said you’re going to die.”
Hopefully you enjoyed some of these jokes. I know what is humorus to one is not to all, however if you did get some chuckles that’s all that matters.
I liked Rich Vos. It has always struck me as weird that anti-anxiety drugs can cause anxiety…why is that?
Not sure why that happens but it is funny in a sick way.
Oh my God, I loved the Anxiety Stricken Chicken Soup!!! I’m still laughing & have enjoyed scanning through other Bitchen’Kitchen episodes. It’s so good that I’m going to post it on my blog too & will, of course, link back to where I discovered it. Thanks!!
Lol.. this is so funny! Anyway thanks for this post. very entertaining and informative. This is a big help for those who are depress 🙂
this is so funny paul ..keep up the good work ..people need a sense of humor with this condtion
I loved the hotline. Who is the original author as I would like to use it in a speech but be able to acknowledge the writer.
Hey Stuart, I think I just Googled this joke a long time ago, so unfortunately I don’t recall the author.
You forgot this one:
If you are bipolar press 1, then hang up and press 9, the hang up and press 1.