I don’t like New Year’s resolutions because they don’t work.
The reality is that you can start to change on any given day. So I’m not going to ask you to set a goal with an arbitrary timeline.
Instead, I want you to reflect on a few things. For starters, what are you going to do differently this year to lower your anxiety?
I want you to take a step back and really think about that.
After you and I stop stuffing our faces with cookies and pie (or is that just me?) this holiday season it’s time to get serious about your recovery.
Actually, I’ve already started the process. Today I went through my email list and deleted nearly 1,500 people from it.
I deleted people that were not opening my emails or engaging in a meaningful way.
Now I didn’t go nuts. I only deleted people that have been disengaged for more than 3 months. I figure those people aren’t serious about getting better.
Or maybe they weren’t ready to change, or maybe my site wasn’t a good fit; whatever the reason I am going to focus on those of you that are still here.
I don’t say this often, or maybe I never have, but you guys are special to me. I work on this site because I know exactly how you feel.
I’ve actually felt most of the symptoms you complain about. I have had a thousand fake heart attacks and just as many panic attacks.
The thing is, I don’t anymore. And I want the same thing for you. That means that I’m going to get more serious as well.
That means high quality podcasts, useful information and a bigger effort on my part to connect with you this year.
So, going back to my challenge, head to the comments section below and tell me about what you could do differently this year.
I think that’s a good start.
Hi, Paul!
Believe it or not, the answer to this for me is pretty straightforward (but I’m not saying easy)! I am just going
to keep on moving forward TOWARDS my fears, and building a stronger belief that anxious thoughts cannot realy hurt me. They are just thougts, after all! I will try my very best to keep moving forward and take those thoughts with me if I must. No matter how unpleasant this may be at the time, I know each time I refuse to give in to the anxiety bully and move forward any way, I am taking another step toward recovery. Thank you for making an incredible difference in my life this past year, Paul – happy Hogmanay from Scotland! 🙂
I’m leaving the workforce in 2015 to return to being a stay at home mom. When my anxiety was at it’s worst I went back to work to help distract me from what was going on. After lots of hard work (and listening to every Anxiet Guru podcast ever recorded!!) I have successfully stopped taking my antidepressants and I’m ready to go back to being at home with my kids. I can’t wait to incorporate daily meditation and excercise to help myself maintain!! Thanks for all you do Paul!
I have tried to avoid my anxiety issues new diagnosis of AFib has sent me back here. Ready to learn and listen!
I can tell you, with a tremendous amount of certainty, that you have helped me with my anxiety issues in the past. Right now,i am in the middle of a setback with the symptoms (They hit me the last few days pretty hard, last night being the worst), but I know that setbacks are part of the process of recovery, so I am trying to stay focused and moving forward.
I have posted your articles and podcast’s to others on social media networks like Facebook, who are suffering as well from this crazy stuff. You have helped many more than you know, Brother. Keep up the great work, God will bless you for it one day.
Tony
Dear Paul,
Your podcasts are one of the main reasons I have reached the calmer state I’m currently in! You have provided me with the most important weapon against these hidden, paralysing & torturing sensations, that is knowledge! You helped make the unknown known! You have shown me how small and weak was my enemy!
I’m not saying that I have been completely cured. I still get a couple of moments where I feel my chest tightening and difficulty to breath normally. Nevertheless I will carry on fighting back, because the more I beat it the more confident I become!
So for all of that I would like to thank you Mr Paul Doodley and I hope you carry on with your podcasts, because you never know how many individuals your guiding and mentoring through such strenuous battles!
Ahmed
Its time I begin to be more active in realizing my anxiety is just thoughts and nothing more and to let go of my fears when they arise and hit me in the face. Thanks to you….holding my hand through this….I will venture forward….one step at a time….one podcast at a time. Thank you so much for caring.
I will be adding more tools to my anxiety toolbox. My CBT has been very helpful. I will just keep moving forward.
I’ll be focusing on better sleep schedules, and determining which thoughts are real and which are anxious thoughts to allow those thoughts to pass and not feed that stray animal…so they stop coming back! Thanks for the reminder!
Hi Paul,
You Podcast are a source of strength and keep me focussed on recovery.
Overall, still on the recovery path. Anti Depressants did helped me but to a certain extent only. It reduced the frequency of attacks. What has helped me further and most was yoga and breathing exercises; to correct my breathing pattern, breathe from Diaphargm rather than lungs.
Being conscious when panic attack strikes and try to only breath from diaphargm. Thanks for showing the way Paul..
Hi Paul,
Hope youre enjoying the holidays with your family and Wishing you a wonderful new year. For me, to keep it realistic, I am beginning with simply waking up and not “scanning” for symptoms. I think the not scanning and focusing on symptoms will be the most helpful thing to do towards a more productive and less anxious day bThanks for all you do. You are like a constant friend that doesn’t get tired of hearing about anxiety or judges and knows just how you feel. All the best to you Paul.
Hi paul
Thank you for your podcasts I dont know what I would do without them. My aim for 2015 and onwards is to stop being afraid of anxiety and to function better with it by not being afraid. I hope to change my mindset
Thanks for all you do to help x
Thanks for not deleting my email address Paul! I try to read as many of your emails as I can. You have helped me tremendously. I discovered your podcasts years ago and still go to them when my anxious thinking rules my logical thinking.
I like the advice to recognize the fear and do it anyway. That is my mantra for the new year.
So many times I start to leave the house and turn back for fear of “something” happening in me physically. I know it is my abnormal anxiety, but I would give it control and regret it later. I plan to acknowledge the feelings, but walk through them to the other side-where I prefer to live.
Thank you for all you do.
I have had anxiety most of my life but was never treated for it until nine months ago. My plan is to continue with cognitive behavioral therapy and continue to reduce klonopin until I’m off of it completely. I also take yoga classes three times a week, walk three miles three tiimes a week and have been exploring new hobbies. I have made more “me” time for massages and pedicures when I need a special treat. My goal is to eventually be better than ever!
I am going to really try and not focus on my symptoms and try not give them so much power over me accept it is all anxiety and not keep looking for a serious illness as my doctor has told me this kind of thinking only makes my symptoms worse ACCEPTANCE
Happy almost New Year Paul,
This year I have learned that my anxiety is saying something to me. In a sensitive person, the anxiety screams instead of whispers. If I calmly ask it to just talk to me instead of screaming, that helps. Other things that are a permanent part of my life are restorative and gentle yoga, connections with friends, drinking more water than I thought was necessary (amazing how that helped) and being myself. A lot of my anxiety comes from when I feel like I can’t be myself. And being brought up as a good church girl to please others, sometimes I don’t know who “myself” is. Good things to take into 2015 Karen B
Hey Paul!
I’m going to put myself out there and face my fears. Since I lost my dad last year, I’ve become a hermit more than I already am. This is the first time I’m admitting this publicly, but I think I had a panic attack late last year, and ever since then, I can slowly feel myself going downhill. I recently moved to a new city (not alone, thankfully), but it’s gotten worse. I have done a few things that takes me out of my comfort zone, such as going to a get together with complete strangers. These were my husband’s co-workers. I cannot begin to tell you how nervous I was to meet these people. I kept thinking, “What will I do if I start to feel dizzy, hot??” Well, it never happened, and I had such a good time I couldn’t sleep that night, LMAO! Little things give me boosts of confidence, but the anticipation of getting there lately is killer. This morning I went to my 1st yoga class at a new gym. I was the NEWBIE! But guess what? Nobody cared!!! I survived, and am looking forward to more classes, and to maybe meet some people. I’m seeing that the effects of doing little things here and there helps. I have a long way to go….but I know I’ll eventually get to a better place. Your podcasts are awesome, and so are your blogs. You rock!
I will continue on course with mindfulness meditation, contemplation, the use of classical philosophy and martial arts to keep me balanced, alert, and occupied instead of pre occupied. Thanks for the emails.
JC
More mediation!!!
Thanks Paul for challenging us.
Trying to stick to the plans and goals I had made with anxiety and actually practicing them on a day to day basis !!
I too, am very happy you didn’t delete me from your e-mails..I look forward to each and everyone and even replay many of them. I am working on the breathing exercises, as well as trying to just walk myself through my set backs….I have had a few set backs lately which I think is due to the stress of lots of entertaining over the holidays….I try to remember your podcast that we WILL have set backs and plough through it..Thanks for all your help, Paul
Paul!
I have been an AG subscriber for many years and although I continue to get better I still stay connected with this site because you have given me hope to get better each day and the reassurance to always press forward. I feel that you are part of my family and have been there for me via email, the free site and the paid site to provide guidance and hope.
This site has been a HUGE blessing for me and I thank you SO much for working at it. Many of us are silent but we receive HOPE from your victory and strive towards that goal of anxiety free living. Happy New Year!
Hi Paul, this year in particular I’m just going to loosen up and let it all happen. Anxiety is all about control and mistrust, so I’m going to trust my body to do its thing without getting worked up over what I have no control over. And I’m going to treat worrying like I do leaving the lights on; its wasteful and doesn’t accomplish anything. My partner and I are starting a family next year, so great things await, and anxiety just isn’t on the important list!
Thanks, Paul, for what you are doing. I plan to keep on what I’m doing also. That is, I picked a plan and stuck to it. I meditate, do yoga, and walk. And read and listen to your podcasts. Tendonitis has stopped my exercising for months, so when I came upon your recommendation for Claire Weeks’ Hope and Help, etc., I grabbed onto that, and the two of you are helping me be calmer about anxiety.
I think that sometimes it takes some bravery just to tackle the subject of anxiety and not avoid it, so I laud you for making the subject bearable and for giving it clarity. And for walking the walk that you have.
I’m going to stop caring so much. By that I mean, I’m going to empower those around me to do things for themselves, give instructions when needed and be hands off. I will allow people to do things for me instead of thinking no one else can do things right.
Carrying the weight of the world is anxiety producing.
I’m going to live this year by keeping a couple of thoughts close to mind and heart:
1.) Fear is a choice.
2.) Find a ledge above the waterfall of my thoughts.
That second one is an exercise I’ve begun teaching myself through meditation (which I’ve just recently started doing). Experience each though, but let them continue to flow… don’t catch and hold each and every thought and emotion.
I hope to begin some yoga this year, as I’ve begun adding routine exercise into my life which has helped tremendously so far.
Best of luck everyone!
Hi Paul,
You may remember me, I’m a husband on the other side of the fence watching my wife live a life without inner piece. I’ve spent years as a life coach and continuously allow myself to be the sound-board of reason for my significant other. But there are times where I have difficulties differentiating if the behavior is self-centered creating a covert narcissism or is this simply, in the real world, unjustified fear. Either way, although my spouse has resisted, I am getting outside help. Listening to a three year old tell me she’s not feeling well and says she’s unsettled is forcing a change.
Thanks for keeping my email.
Hi Paul –
I just found your site a couple of weeks ago and listening to your podcasts has helped me already. I’m at quite a low with my anxiety. I don’t feel like myself and have so much anxiety and stress – health anxiety seems to be the worst of it all. I get anxious about symptoms I have made up or look for and then get so anxious and can’t get the thoughts to leave. If I can tackle just this portion of my anxiety I would be a step in the right direction. I plan to listen to your podcasts and try to treat my thoughts as just thoughts and not a diagnosis. I have tried talking to a life coach and did a session of hypnotherapy. I’ve also used to be on antidepressants. None of these have worked for me. Maybe because the solution lies within me to lessen stress and to do more healthy thinking and healthy activity. It is so hard once those anxious thoughts start going to push through them and do something nice for myself. I can’t let this get in the way of my life, family, or career any longer. I’m thrilled to have found your site. Your podcasts calm me and give me something positive to think about. Thank you for the work you are doing to help so many people. It is also helpful to me to read others’ comments. My plan is to keep listening and do some real work at not letting this anxiety rule my life. Thank you.
What are you going to do differently this year to lower your anxiety? – this question by you has just been a lightbulb moment when I read it. I think I’ve spent too much time fighting anxiety and looking at it like it’s an uphill battle. Instead of just accepting I have anxiety, I’ve been wanting to get rid of it completely, but now I need to accept it’s normal to experience certain levels of anxiety it’s just how I let my body react to it ie. fear it, which then itself keeps feeding the sensations until it gets out of control. So by now looking at it, as ‘lowering’ my anxiety, it kind of takes the pressure off me to be ‘cured’ and instead let myself learn better techniques and skills for dealing with stress in my life and tell myself it’s just okay.
Hi Paul. Love this site and the pod casts. I would categorize the event that caused my anxiety more as a ‘psychological trauma’ that has sent my amygdala into orbit never to return to its normal state again. The anxiety that I have is not so much about my thoughts and thought patterns but more about the fact that 100% of the time, I’m scared to death and sensitized to the max, plus all the physical symptoms that go with that such as racing heart, tight jaw & throat, solar plexus turned to stone, etc. I think about doing dishes, it scares me to death. I think about going to the store, it scares me to death. I go to bed at night, I’m scared to death. I wake up, I’m scared to death. Of course, I plow through life doing all these things but carrying this anxiety load with me all the time. It’s exhausting! I’ve tried therapy, exercise, breathing, meditation. No meds for me, thanks. Anxiety destroys your armor against the world and life’s events and you end up being a walking open wound. It robs you of the pleasant feelings you get in life such as happiness, being tickled or euphoric about something, being relaxed, being cozy. But, I will keep trying and subscribing to sites like this to keep me grounded. Sorry for the mini-blog, Paul! Keep up the great work. Happy New Year to you!
Paul,
Thanks for all you do. After about two years of being relatively anxiety-free, I had a major set back a few months ago. I’ve had to relearn some of the attitudes and practices in which I had become complacent. Your show, especially the episode on saying no, is a big part of my recovery process.
Here’s to 2015 and getting better and stronger.
Hi Paul
Just wanted to say thankyou for all of the information you put out there to help others.
It’s such a comfort and support to me.
Happy 2015 to you and your family.
to think for over 20 yrs I thought I was the only one to experience anxiety and had to keep it hidden from the world. nobody could relate to it if I tried to talk about it with them. soooo I figured I was the only one to have these fears and anxiety. what else could I think. then in my 40’s I came across an article about dr.claire weeks (divine intervention honestly that I did) and it saved me from so much further suffering. yes, I had setbacks but she showed me how to deal with them. they got shorter and shorter. I have all her books and they go with me on holidays and they help me tremendously. when in my safe zone of my own environment and routine t home I am really pretty good but take me on a plane and to a strange place and I have to reread and reread before I can settle down. I think it is really just a ‘habit’ now with me with anxiety. I am a work in progress and probably always will be but I accept that I am just more sensitive than others, and knowing there actually are other people out there who have panic attacks etc. was such a revelation to me it was a comfort. I was not alone after all. mental illness is still a closet word even in this day and age. paul has helped me so much as well as so many others. its rather like we are all in a huge group therapy session and paul is the sage. with so many ‘patients’ I don’t know how he pursues his graduate studies to get his psychology degree. the guy should be on dr. phil to show the world what a hero he is to ‘our kind’. too bad Oprah isn’t on anymore. she could really relate to him and what he does for others like us.
I’ve had anxiety and depression most of my life (I’m in my 60s). Your help has been great as you provide both your own experience with anxiety as well as the results of the latest research on managing anxiety. Your podcasts and articles are a constant reminder to continue to practice thinking in new ways, as well as strategies for coping better with the challenges life presents us.
Thank you!
Hey guys,
I appreciate every single response here. I read each one carefully and I’m happy to see that you guys have a clear vision of what you want moving forward. I also appreciate all the kind words and feedback.
Hi Paul
Well its a beautiful sunny day here in oz! In 2015 I am going to laugh more, I’m going to continue practising mindfulness- being in the present as much as possible- continue with yoga and meditation and above al ACCEPT that symptoms come and go and when palpitations come I can acknowledge them and just keep on with whatever I’m doing ( even sleeping!), for 2015 I wish you and all on this site, a new year that brings more courage, more laughter joy.
Thank you Paul for creating your website. One of the hardest things with anxiety is dealing with the loneliness of it. I find comfort in knowing that others suffer with this condition while I don’t wish it on anyone and it helps my cope on a daily basis. In 2015 I want to just take a day at a time and not fight the anxiety symptoms but rather except them and move forward knowing they can’t hurt me. I do practice mindfulness and distraction by enjoying nature and water. Paul your information has helped me so much and I always look forward to your emails and updates. Again thank you for sharing and helping all of us overcome anxiety. Happy New Year to everyone xx
Hi Paul
Happy hollidays!
I can happily trll you thst after almost 2 years of hell, I’m finaly better. For real. And it’s because of 1-the medication, obviously and 2-I din’t give up. I wanted to often. I didn’t attempt on my life but I did consider not being alive anymore to stop the pain.
I’m glad I kept going. I’m me again.
Thanks for the support.
🙂
I would like to address Carol. I hear ya! Exactly where I was about a year ago. I lived that nightmare for at least three months. Keep reading and listening. The way to desensitize is the way you are going. I know this because I come here and do exactly that. Between Paul and Claire Weekes you WILL get better.
I just got a new job that I’ve been working towards for a while. I start in January. I’m a smart person and can do what I set my mind to but I keep getting the “what if” thoughts of failure or not being liked etc. I’m going to make it more of a point to believe in myself and question the negative “what if” thoughts.
Thank you, Paul, for the thoughtful challenge and allowing for our comments. I’m new to the site and have learned a great deal in just a few short months. The podcasts, archives, and reading recommendation (Help and Hope for Your Nerves) have been particularly the most helpful.
For me in 2015, I plan on continuing to practice accepting my anxiety and not fighting my feelings of fear. They are indeed only thoughts that have disabled me for months but not any longer. I plan on addressing occupation as well since it is personally very important to me. Lastly, I look forward to being more active, as I used to be, “distracted”, and a great dad to my first child who will be born next month!
Happy New Year!
Continuing to try and not let the symptoms scare me…to ignore them more, and to continue reading your posts, of course! 🙂 Thanks for all the good stuff you provide to us!
I am focusing on really getting my meditation skills sharpened. Things are improving, but I have had a couple of set backs, like two stents for some heart issues, that haven’t helped. Keep up the good work.
Congratulations on your new baby Doug!
Sheila, we’re all scared, you’re not alone! But don’t ‘ ignore’ your symptoms, it’s important to acknowledge and accept them while knowing at the same time that they dont matter, they”re not important. For extra help read Claire weekes and I recently found a great book called the stress response by Christy matta,
Hi paul.
thanx for your amazing work. This new year i want to relaxing more and dont involve so much in anxious thoughts. .or dont belive in every thought in my head.
Hi Paul, I love reading your messages. They make me realize I m not the only one out there. I will continue my exercise and breathing techniques as well as anything else to get my anxiety issues under control. Thanks.
Ruminate less and meditate more consistently.
Going to try to get a more positive attitude and not focus on the anxiety symptoms.
Look forward to your podcasts Paul.
Thanks for everything you continue to do. On the road to being better each and everyday in each and every way! I listen to podcasts every chance I get! Thanks again!
Bought the 365 Dalai Lama Daily Advice from the Heart book. Advice everyday for 365 days. I will read one each day, and use it’s teaching in my daily life. I will keep the page with me as I go about my day, and refer to it as needed. Thanks for all you do Paul! Keep up the good work in 2015!
Hey Josh, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your comment. Thing is, I know how many like you are out there. And one of the things that I really would like to work on when I say that I’m getting “serious” is that I want to engage you all more. Most of my readers are silent and I truly wish that wasn’t the case. I feed off of your energy and your needs. I guess I have to work on encouraging this level of participation which is helpful on so many levels. Anyway, thank you. Thanks for sticking with me over the years. I hope you continue to improve!
Accepting has been a tool/concept that is helping me move forward through anxiety recovery. Accepting that I can’t control bad things happening. Accepting that it is okay to feel good and be happy if only moments here and there during bad times. Accepting that more people than not have fear of some kind and I’m not “different” because I process it by getting anxious. Accepting and believing that my body and mind can heal themselves if I do the work and provide an environment that is conducive to healing-eating healthy, exercise, meditation. Recently I posted this from Eleanor Roosevelt when I can read it frequently: “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
For starters thank you Paul. Thank you for being there for everyone who needs you! For me I sometimes take a drive and listen to your podcasts when I need that voice of reason. You have taught me so much. Your coaching service has been especially helpful to me.
I plan on continuing to learn to “put the pieces of the puzzle together” to find what works for me to reduce my anxiety. I’m going to do my best to reduce stress. Drink more water, exercise, do yoga and eat healthier. I’m also going to work on acceptance instead of fighting anxiety. My mantra is to look for progress not perfection.
I wish all the best to everyone in their journey to recovery!
Sean
I feel this year i have turned a bit of a corner. Lots of big stuff happened this year and on top of that, the worst thing was trying to handle my anxiety – which i didn’t share with anyone. But somehow i feel a bit better. I am just going to continue to do ‘the next right thing’ and stop navel gazing so much. I have decided to do more creative things, because those are the things that make me happy. Also, to do things that build my confidence (you were so right about that helping with anxiety).This new year is the first time i have felt happiness in about 7 years – it is lovely to feel that again.
Thank you Paul for all the hard work you put into this site.
Paul, You’re a true hero in the battle so many of us face. I use my tools when I feel bad and I’m proud to say those times age getting further apart. I’ve had the surprise of hearing you read my email on a podcast and corresponded with you a couple of times through email.
I’m a high school football coach and while my team went undefeated in 2013 I had little to no pleasure because I was in EXTREMELY high anxiety. Panic attacks didn’t come and go, they lasted for days. There were no safe places. I coached games wondering if I was going to pass out or die suddenly with so much chest pressure I could barely breathe.
The 2014 season saw my team that lost a lot of seniors not do nearly as well, but I was coming back to being me. I only had “moments” of panic during last years season and can overall say it was enjoyable.
In 2015, I’m going to continue down the road to recovery until I’m healed. I will continue 1. Therapy 2. Medication 3. NEVER staying home no matter how strong it is(When at my worst I used to go to department stores and just set as if to tell my anxiety to bring it on) 4. Listening to you 5. Stay away from message boards(They’re little help and there are lots of setback thoughts there). 6. Believe my body will completely heal and if I continue to not pay attention to anxiety and not give it power, one day I’ll just realize it’s been a LONG time since I felt any.
Thanks for everything Paul. You’re truly a hero to so many.