Are the things you do to reduce anxiety working? I’m going to take a wild guess and say that they’re not. One reason for that is that you’re relying on a one trick pony. It’s called reactivity.
Chances are that you tend to be reactive and explore solutions to your anxiety problem only in the heat of the moment (or soon after).
But is jumping on Google to read more about what you already know really going to help you? If not, what can you do, right now, that will help you get where you want to be?
Here are a few thoughts…
Identify the Problem
What is your problem? To say that it’s “anxiety” is too vague. Get specific. A helpful way to find out what your specific problem is to ask yourself the miracle question. Here it is: If you went to sleep tonight, and woke up anxiety free tomorrow, how would you know that you were anxiety free?
What would tell you that everything was different? Would it be that your palpitations were gone? Or that your racing thoughts had disappeared? Pick one.
Obviously your anxiety is complex and may not boil down to only one symptom but, there’s usually one major problem that is fueling your anxiety. Find out what that is and work on that one problem until you defeat it.
I know “anxiety” is the overarching issue, but think about the benefits of tackling something singular like chest pain. Any diet change, exercise routine, or whatever you decide to use, that heals your chest pain will undoubtedly also have a positive effect on your overall feelings of anxiety.
It’s also less overwhelming to focus on a single problem versus trying to tackle “anxiety.”
Focus On Using Solutions
When you have a big problem it’s easy to get sucked into the “problem vortex.” You get sucked into a world of sameness; the same information, the same pattern of thinking, or the same behavior. But it’s important to ask yourself, “What can I do differently?”
Take palpitations for example, here are a few articles on how to stop them:
Is there a way to stop heart palpitations
How to stop heart palpitations
Natural home remedies: Palpitations
Wonderful, found three great articles on how to stop palpitations. The question is, what do you do with this information? Do you simply keep surfing the net looking for the next interesting tip or do you stop and think about how you might use this information?
Brooding about your anxiety is a waste of time. Getting locked in your head about how much you hate your life, how much anxiety is ruining your existence benefits you how? You need to get pissed and use that energy to find a set of tools you can use on a regular basis.
Small Improvements Are Okay
Folks with problems want quick fixes – that’s normal. It’s also unrealistic. Instead, as you work on your main problem look for small improvements that tell you things are changing. The goal is to make something different.
That could mean having 2 panic attacks per week rather than 3. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You’ll progress one baby step at a time. Plus, you won’t be filled with disappointment every time someone’s advice doesn’t turn your life around on a dime.
The tips I laid out here are simple but effective. If you want someone to give you some magic pill or bullet proof advice then I’m afraid you’re going to be anxious much longer. Don’t fool yourself. Instead, make a plan and stick to it. Time will take care of the rest.
Thanks Paul, great article.
You bet Sarah.
I agree…this was great. Very timely for me and some things that I might have known, but that often get forgotten about while my brain searches for the ‘quick fix’ (that isn’t there). Thanks:)
This is very interesting perspective. I am going through the worst stubborn anxiety ever. The difference this time is that i’m fine and all of a sudden a rush of adrenaline takes over my body and suddenly I feel as if I’m choking and want to jump up and panic! At times, I’m like spaced out. My thoughts racing along with my heart in the middle of the night, can’t sleep! I have feel like I have no will/strength to concentrate and fight this to the point where I feel like I’m losing control and sinking into a bit of a depression because a couple of times I thought I was going to burst out crying. I need help but have no insurance!
If you went to sleep tonight, and woke up anxiety free tomorrow, how would you know that you were anxiety free?
What a fantastic question… Thank-you !
Just reading all the comments has made me feel better, l am not alone or going mad ! I feel the same has Annette thoughts racing along with my heart beat,waking up in the middle of the night can’t sleep ,feel like am losing control with no way out .
“Small Improvements Are Okay”
See … here’s the thing. (As I see & experience it.)
You believe this.
I believe this.
But the boss doesn’t.
The clients don’t.
The family members – whose behavior can so substantially contribute to it (notice I didn’t say cause it) – don’t.
It seems like so much of “anxiety management” is just so other people will be comfortable around us … as opposed to anything that will benefit US directly (other than the cessation of the palpitations via meditation and such), just so they will punish us less.
Never mind their neurotic – or manipulative sometimes to the point of antisocial – behavior.
They want you “fixed”, and fixed totally, and fixed instantly.
Otherwise, they will continue to reject you … to the point where that of course causes more anxiety in those of us who are trying to deal with it.
I have no objections, obviously, to trying to make oneself whole and well and functional.
I just … object to how frequently the burden of addressing the dysfunctional things other people in the world are doing, and the dysfunctional cultural influences we’re all subject to, is all put on US, as though none of them, and no one else in the world, has nothing to do with it, and as a result is never made accountable for it, nor called to address THEIR contribution to the problems.
I’m currently on meds for my anixty and I feel like they aren’t working it’s affecting my job that .I have for 2 1/2 years I think the reason I feel this way is because my younger brother moved out of my other brothers house which me and him was living I guess I got to attach to him it made me feel comf of him living here I just want to be happy instead of feeling I’m going crazy