To answer my own question, yes I do daydream a lot.
Believe it or not daydreaming is a symptom of anxiety disorder and depression. So chances are if you’re an anxious person you spend much of your time in la la land, fantasizing about a very cool version of yourself doing extraordinary things. But why?
Most shrinks think that daydreaming is a self defense mechanism. Daydreaming is a form of escapism. As you well know, when you have an anxiety disorder things can get negative and intense. Not only that, but all that negativity can get strung out over weeks and even months at a time.
As result, the brain cries out for a break and so it becomes very easy to drift off into a dream state. Daydreaming is like a time out for your tired mind.
There are two schools of thought on whether daydreaming and fantasy are a good or bad thing for those that suffer with mental ailments like anxiety disorder.
On the one hand, you have those that say that daydreaming is bad because it distracts you from dealing with your problems and hinders you from correcting whatever is stressing you out. They think it will only prolong and maybe even intensify whatever is troubling you.
Then there are those that completely disagree with that view and find that daydreaming is actually healthy. The thought is that daydreaming is a break from mental stress which can only be good. And it’s also thought that daydreaming allows for creative thought and indirect productivity.
So then, is daydreaming good or bad? I think in moderation it is a good thing.
When I was a kid I was sent home with notes pinned to my backpack that told my parents that I was constantly daydreaming. I’ve had this love affair with daydreaming for as long as I can remember, but I was never less productive because of it.
Even at work I find that I space out quite a bit. I usually dream about being somewhere else, like a resort or something goofy that gets me away from any difficulty I’m having. I don’t however plan my space time, it just kind of happens on its own. But I also use that time to think about things to write about, and about other projects I want to develop so it’s not always frivolous.
Did you know that they even have a personality type named for people that chronically fantasize? Fantasy Prone Personality or FPP is a trait type describing people that experience their fantasies deeply and can sometimes cause them to get lost in their waking dreams to the point of having an out of body experience. When I read that my first reaction was to think that the labeling of everything has gone a bit too far, but that’s just me I guess.
Anyway, if you find yourself daydreaming a lot you’re not a weirdo. You are simply trying to give your mind a break. And as long as you don’t neglect your responsibilities go ahead and dream away.
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I agree it all depends on the individual and how you look @it, I started daydreaming since 5-6years old and I still do till now and I’m 20years but I find myself drifting alittle too much into fantasies and it keeps me Sane just a few mins a day helps me relax and disappear or when there is nowhere to physically run to you. I think it’s insecurity, escaping reality and Where dilusional meets happiness?? Lmao WTF k
Hey Bronx09,
When you said… “just a few mins a day helps me relax and disappear or when there is nowhere to physically run to you,” I think you nailed it.
Daydreaming is simply a defense mechanism to escape the difficulties of anxiety, depression, or what have you. I think you’ll find that when you reduce anxiety the daydreaming plummets in frequency.
another form of daydreaming is relating oneself to others usually great or successful person or creating imaginable relationship through one’s spouses or family member.
It is comforting but can adverse effect on ones normal life when facing the reality. the best way to overcome is to get involved in work where you need to constantly use your brain such as reading, playing video games, gardening, arranging or meeting friends and talking about anything real.
I think that many of you sound exactly like you have what I have, which is called Maladaptive Daydreaming. It’s a condition that causes excessive daydreaming. If excessive daydreaming is a problem for you, and affects your life adversely, then you might have this issue.
You might not have heard of this before, because it is just now starting to be studied.
I see what you guys mean in all the opinions but hear this. I have been a serious daydreamer all my life. Building fantacies beyond imagination. Yet it wasted so much time that shouldh’ve been used for education, building career, “learning how to do things” that now my situation is as follow. No income, lots of talent whivh a lot of people crave for but don’t know how to use, no kids, no loved ones, yet a reputation and history of helping people – aspescially kids – but what’s the use. A failed life with no faith. I do plan on leaving the world since suffering is now enough! So carefull to let your kids daydream to much – it’s just an “easier way” to enjoy things.
I was also the kid that got sent to the corner of the room at school for not staying with it. 🙂 I’ve always loved daydreaming. If I haven’t had time to daydream during the day I literally crave it and become irritable and frustrated. I have an anxiety disorder, and I was an anxious kid too. My daydreams are so vivid and I become completely lost in them. Weirdly, my emotional reaction to my daydreams is stronger than my reaction to real life. That probably supports the idea that I’m avoiding, detaching or escaping real-life problems by indulging in daydream.
To me, daydreams are stories. They’re like a film playing in my head and I become engrossed. I love tragedies. I love thinking about something AWFUL and how upset I’d be. I often make myself cry and feel a deep – but cathartic – sadness. It’s like watching a weepy movie. It makes you cry, but when the film/daydream is over and you slowly come back to the world, you feel like you’ve been on a journey. You feel refreshed, you feel cleaned out, you feel satisfied. Or that’s how I feel!
Also, I am now a professional writer, so all that making up stories throughout my life has probably done me some good!
I see the bad sides though. I escape too much to fantasy land and I’m not in control of it. I become obsessive when I am under a great deal of stress and often become obsessed with idealised versions of my life that usually involve dating a celebrity or someone else with status (I’ll show them all my brilliant new boyfriend etc etc etc). But those fantasies can become disturbing. I find myself obsessively thinking about the celebrity or man, even when I don’t want to. It becomes a compulsion. I will have to look them up on the internet and look at pictures, at least ten times a day, and I don’t want to!
I used to have a compulsion to eat (a bit like a non-purging bulimia as I went through concurrent phases of starvation) and the obsessive fantasies I have feel exactly the same. I will not consciously be interested in a celebrity (when I am not stressed I have zero interest in celebs etc), but if I don’t think about them or look them up on the internet I will feel extremely uncomfortable and I’ll have to do it to make the feeling go away. I’ve now decided it’s sort of like recurring OCD, because I don’t enjoy any part of it, it’s all just to make uncomfortable feelings disappear. Only my OCD-type-thing occurs with fantasy – my ritual is to fantasise – and the strong obsessiveness I describe only happens when I’m under tons and tons of stress (only a few times in my life).
So I think daydreaming is good and bad. You work out for yourself when it’s a danger sign!
I’v been daydreaming since I was 12 years old i am now 16. I can still remember the first fantasy daydream I came up with in my mind. All my daydreams have to do with fantasy of boys that I like or my “dream boy” i’v never had a boyfriend and every one around me does it puts me in such a lonely state of mind and no only way I can escape is by daydreaming. I also find my self talking to my self out loud as if in talking to the person in my daydreams, I usually daydream in the car while my mom drives or will taking a shower or at lunch time in school or even before I go to bed, I feel less lonely when I day dream and I can just get away from the fact that I feel very lonely, might even be depressed because I always seem to be sad even when good things are happening to me it’s really up setting, I try to stop daydream an not think about a fantasy world where every thing is perfect but I fall right back in to it with out even noticing have the time I just zone off into my own world where life seems so much better, for so long I thought I was the only one with this problem but it’s nice to know that I’m not really all that crazy other people have gone through the same thing.
Miranda,
Your comment explains my life perfectly. I started daydreaming at around 12 and I’m going to turn 16 soon. In my house I often get kicked out of the shower because I feel like its the best place to daydream and I loose myself in time. In my daydreams I come up with characters that are datting my celebrity crush. I love listening to music when I daydream and whatching movies, tv shows, and listening to music triggers my daydreams. In school I have a hard time concentrating and I often leave projects for the night before. For so long I thought I was alone in this. It feels nice to know that I’m not the only one.
im 22 and have been daydreaming since i can remember . i used to be constantly in trouble at school for this as i cant consentrate for longer then a cuple minutes i never used to get any work done and was always behind. now im older im always depressed feeling suicidal at times and constantly worried about anything.
i daydream so much i can feel myself muttering under my breath as i have conversations in my head, i get caught smiling or frowning as im daydreaming without reliseing im doing it.
also ive found my self having alot of unwanted thoughts lately things that i dont want to think and i cant get them out of my head. i feel like all of this is effecting my life my boyfriend recently left me for my moods and im not doing so well at work or college. i want to get help but is there realy anything anyone can do or is this just who i am ? if i got help with my depression would this help everything else ?
I have minor malaadaptive day dreaming. Do you know any tips to get rid of it or cope with it ?
Distraction is one. Exercise is another. And most of all, lower your stress levels. That will do wonders.
I’m 15 and I day way to much,like if am daydreaming I stayed still for 30 sec I’ll say,than I comeback alive and in like 5 min I daydream again lol.But I find it relaxing,cause like that I could delete all them bad memories….When am in school I daydream and I start looking at an object or a person fit 🙂
I’ve started daydreaming when I was about 10yo
I mostly daydream by the fun and challenge of it, and always trying to improve
I’ve started in my boring after school study center, most of times I had everything done and had to remain in my table
When I was a kid my daydream was like a game in 3rd person, I controlled the main personage that was like an humanoid robot with built in weapons, and I played with it, in certain places in known the most and had a clever 3D representation of everything
It was all about battling other metalic enemys and changing robots features, and adding things in the cenario, veicles, buildings,…
I really liked “rendering” material destruction (like metal, concrete ,wood) and deformation, explosions, reflections,.. slow mo certain parts to add extra detail, and sometimes playing it back and forward to improve it and make modifications to look better
I still remember one day, it was like 6pm and the teacher called me because mom had already arrived, I just hear a very far away voice repeating, and sudently like 7 or 8 seconds later I find my self looking at the corner of a front table, I change my look to the teacher and she is with an expression like (are you deaf or what?) xD
The moment I realized how engaged I could be…
I’m 20yo guy, I haven’t daydreamed than much since my 12yo until 3 years ago
I’ve been daydreaming with a girl that is like based on 4 person features, with some extra detail mods
It already feels like an original person that is not a copy of anyone
I’ve already daydreamed so much times that feels that I’ve already developed a personality of her with so much situations passed throght
Most times I daydream in 3rd person, but I dont actually daydream with being myself with her anymore, I actually daydream about being her and replacing myself with her
I also simulate a lot of my real situations with her and its always exciting
I really like changing features like clottes, hairstyle, facial expressions and voice tone, I have a couple of look standards, I’ve been improving a lot in shape and detail rendering, It just feels so real by this stage
Like more than a year ago I randomly came up with a name in my daydream, that passed to surname and added a first name
I begins to feel strange for having a strong emotional attachment for someone that doesn’t exist
Sometimes I just wish so badly it was real
I’ve been thinking how could I transpose this “idea” to some form of reality, I started to practice drawing, and I’ve also a couple of other ideas, I think this will always be my golden sweet dream from now on, wish me luck 🙂
was biginning to think i am goin crazy or i’m about to go insane. Had to just check if i was when i stumbled on this and read all of the great comments. Cant remember the first time i strted daydreaming but i knw it’s been for a very long time. And i’m 22 nw…. One thing that baffles me is, i’m always consious of my surroundings when i daydream, like i do two things at a time, if i’m with people and i start to daydream i still reply their questions and act like i’m all ears…i dnt knw if that is normal…. And i daydream alot, i could come up with stories, things i wld love to do, a life i wld have lived if i was brought up in a particular place or way nd lots of crazy but interesting stuffs… :)… It’s kinda an escape route tho’, i dnt feel lonely wen i’m alone…
i have a problem maybe you guys can help me solve. As you can probably guess, i daydream alot. As one of the comments said above, i also think of them as stories that i could tell. There is however, one dream that i could not forget for 15 years that i made an entire fantasy story around it. This is story is about a girl (that i have not met), i could not see her face just that i loved being in her company. You could say that i was really in love with her and cannot stop thinking about her, a normal everyday life romance kind of thing. One day i saw this fantastic video of a guy proposing to his girlfriend, then i thought why not i do the same with my two main characters. I mean, not many novels have their characters planning a proposal very much
So i was thinking around of a great proposal plan, when i dream i was in a park. i was helping this guy out with something when i saw her again. This time i could see her face and she looks nearly like the girl that i had a crush on when i was in school. We were hugging, holding hands kissing, normal couple stuff and it felt great.
my problem is, i have no experience in the opposite sex, i’m still single, the girl i had a crush on is already engaged to someone else. And i’ve been having this dream for 3 days now. It does feel great, but am i getting a bit paranoid because my mind is telling me i want a relationship with that special someone but i have too much on my plate for that.
Interesting what Aaron says….I have been thinking recently about a similar thing. Also, looking through the comments, apparently I commented here as daydreamer on May 12th 2012. Hi me!
Anyway, I have had boyfriends, though generally my relationships are fairly distant (and I’ve rarely been particularly upset about that). As I approach 30, I have lost interest entirely in the idea of coupling. I love being single because I like being alone and always have. When I think about the prospect of dating or a relationship, I just feel really stressed out, which puts me off doing it in real life.
But like Aaron, I have had an imaginary boyfriend/husband since…hmmm….probably since I was about 13. Sometimes he has a face, sometimes not, but he’s always the same. In short, he is flawless. He is exactly what I would want him to be. As detailed in my last comment, when under tons of stress I feel compulsed to think of my imaginary person and I feel upset when I do not. I literally waste days and weeks. I don’t eat properly, I don’t sleep properly, I just lie there and stay in my imaginary world where I am uber successful and have a ton of status, and the perfect partner (who obvs also has tons of status). Having since read attachment theory, I have thought this is sort of like proximity seeking (think of a ‘clingy’ girlfriend or boyfriend), except using fantasy instead of an actual person.
What interests me is that while Aaron says he simply does not have time for real-life relationships (have a good think about that, Aaron?), I am aware I could MAKE time – I mean, I make time to daydream – but am simply not willing to do so. I just don’t want to have to bother with intimacy, I would rather go without it. Yet Aaron and I both find ourselves obsessed with ideas of romance, while actively avoiding it in real life.
This is an observation. I have no idea what it means. I could armchair psychologise and say it means Aaron I should drop our real-life defences and go out there, get the girl/boy etc….except I’m not going to force myself to do that just to be ‘normal’. I guess perhaps the fantasy is a replacement for what our lives lack. The question is, do you want that stuff in real life or is the fantasy enough? For me, the fantasy is enough.
I day dream a lot and sometime wake up and wants to act it out. I think I actually hate my present job
I’ve been a daydreamer for as long as I can remember. Even to this day now nearly 26 years old I still kinda go off in ‘la la land’. But while many may say it’s not a good thing, I personally think as long as you have some sort of self control and you dont space out at the wrong or inappropriate times, then there shouldn’t be a problem.
Heck sometimes when I was working as a kitchen aide in a nursing home I’d let my mind drift off, helped me get through my end of evening tasks since my body would go on ‘autopilot’.
Now this doesnt mean that i was unaware of my surroundings and my coworkers, and I was able to ‘snap out of it’ without any issue.
I lived in a very stressful situation with my mother and often times I’d be in a terrible mood. I’d let my mind drift in the evening and daydream….wouldn’t ‘cha know it……I’d go to sleep feeling a little better.
Well! I totally agree with that,i’ve been a daydreamer, not a bit i dream muchh
I don’t know why it happens but daydreaming is not bad i think it’s good because it makes us fresh and it feels better but the fact is that if dreams doesn’t come true so it hurts i’d think that i dream much and yes i become engrossed i dream that the person i’d never seen is in my real life is in my dream just like a film stories bf/gf etc. But however i feels good and that’s it
I find my problem is not only fantastical daydreaming but just THINKING. Other anxious people describe worrying but this is not really like me. I do worry a bit more than others, but I’m not a worrier – I don’t obsess over things that are happening in real life and rarely have any ‘what ifs’ in my mind. In fact, I hardly think about real life at all. Some of my thinking is fantastical daydreaming, but 90% of the time it is just thinking. For instance, I may think of something I should tell my therapist. I then automatically daydream about explaining this thing to my therapist. Then I will have that same daydream, on a loop, in my head for hours. I am explaining again and again and again the same thing. I’m not nervous about telling my therapist anything, there’s no anxiety or worry or trepidation there at all, it’s just a drone in my head – a scenario that plays out again and again and again – usually at speed. Oddly it doesn’t get boring or disturbing. Actually, it’s pleasurable. For whatever reason, I’m getting something from it. This plays out in my interactions with others as I have a habit of talking at speed and at length. I try to curtail it but I find it difficult because I just ‘get in the zone’. I can’t stop talking! And this isn’t me talking about worries or problems….I’m just talking….I just have so much in my head all the time. I always have way too much to say about everything – so much in my head all the time.
Although the daydreaming/thinking is vaguely pleasurable or fulfilling the odd moments that I snap out of it I realise I am very, very, very stressed. My body is completely tensed up, my heart racing, I am almost constantly very mildy dissociated so I can’t engage with anything fully. It’s like the stress is always there in the background, I’m all keyed up. But as much as CBT tells you that your thoughts create the anxiety…honestly, I’m not thinking negative things….I’m thinking about something else entirely. It’s almost like I don’t know what I’m so stressed about because I’m constantly distracting myself from it!
I can’t find any information on this variety of anxiety online. I’m trying my best to do mindfulness and to practice CBT etc. but I so rarely have distressing thoughts (because I’m too busy daydreaming) that there is not much to do CBT practice on. I just don’t understand what’s going on or what I’m stressed about.
I have been daydreaming since i was a kid.i am 20 year old know and i still have day dreams.it is good to know that there are orher people like me.i always day dreams about the that i can not do in my real life because i am a shy person.i daydream about many things.when i saw a new movie i daydream about it and keeping myself main character in that movie.i mostly daydream when i am alone .i start walking during daydream and love to listen to music during day dream.almost every member of my family have noticed me walking here and there having a day dream they ask me what r u doing then i make excuses.daydreaming help me getting relex and it is best time pass for me but i am not able to concentrate on my studies .i try to stop daydreaming but i was not able to so its look like i going to be adaydreamer for my whole life
I have been a daydreamer eversince I could remember, it started with a tv show where I wanted two characters to be together and they kept breaking up, so in my mind they got together. It escalated to a point that now I have a world in my mind. I also find myself reacting more to the people in my stories than in real love. I once started writing and I was really good at it because of my overactive imagination but I decided to stop. I know it seems harmless and you may take it for granted but you really need to stop it. If you really think about it you would find that you are detached from your family and friends. You are experiencing all those things and if you do it for long even your real life experiences are replaced by your stories until you found it so hard to remember small details. your mind doesnt see reality as reality but your fantasies seem more real. there are days when I want to do more in my life and hate myself because of my inability. It is an addiction just like alcoholism and it affects our lives in the same way. I found myself constantly jealous and envious of people who are actually leaving their lives, because I am not living it but if I wanted and put effort I could be where they are or even better. At the end of the day the stories are only real to you and life is happening around you.
I seriously hope someone reads this and stops this thing. Because to be able to daydream and create such powerful things in your mind it shows how powerful your mind really is and by daydreaming you are wasting it. Find something to do that can give you money and addify your life. You would find the minute you stop living in your dreamworld that you would find yourself to be MORE REAL and less detached from the people around you. It may be fun now but a few years doesn’t the line, your friends would be married are successful and happy but you are stuck with a bunch of stories and things in your head that do not help you at lot. You would miss out of so many things in life and Believe me they will come a time when you would regret it.
I WISH I HADN’T WASTED SO MUCH OF LIFE BECAUSE I KNOW I WOULD BE FAR BY NOW. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU MAKE UP STORIES AT THE END OF THE DAY REALITY WILL BE REALITY AND YOU STILL NEED TO DEAL WITH IT
PS: Some of the posts are a few years old, it would be nice if those guys can talk about their experiences now
Hello Kori M can you please give some advice how one can reduce daydreaming ?
My daydream effects my everyday life and im glad i searched and found this article. The whole thing describes me perfectly. I am a delivery driver and still in school. My daydream has gotten to the point where i drive to point A to B and so on without subconsciously knowing. Same with school. Every end of the day i cant recall any of my memories. It also effected my sleep pattern too causing me to stay up all night. Glad i found this article and understanded more about myself. It helps me to take control of my reality a bit. Thanks
I daydream a lot, I can’t help it.
I’m twelve and I’ve been daydreaming for as long as I can remember. It’s gotten worse in the past few years, though. I feel as if I don’t exist whenever I’m not on my iPad or in the quietness of my room. Or in my dreams.
I can’t stop my daydreaming. It’s embarrassing, but I recently watched an anime and got obsessed with it. After watching the entire thing in a few weeks, I started daydreaming about the characters. I love daydreaming, but it’s a hassle when I find myself off in my dreamland for the whole period.
Just know it’s not all that bad.
I’ve come up with various book ideas that I hope to actually make into a book one day. Also, when I listen to music, I come up with vivid dances and story Ideas using my characters and the characters from the anime. These dances repeat themselves.
Can anyone relate?
Lmao, I know it’s kind of stupid, but it seriously happens to me.
Can anyong help? That would be much appreciated. Thanks!
I’m a day dreamer. I can drive from one point to another while day dreaming but still know to stop at light and watch for cars.
It’s affected my sleep but older I got I’m able to sleep now with no hassle. I remember as a preteen always day dreaming about being with this girl or even celebrity girls alot. I’m a shy person so I would always day dream about what happen if me and her date.
I remember watching TV and seen a guy who the lotto then I would day dream on how I won the lotto and how I spent that money on. Anyways, my point is I always played scenarios in my head.
The plus side to day dreaming is you escape reality in a positive way. If I have a stressful day I would escape by day dreaming about something good.
The downfall is most of us extreme day dreamers miss out on alot of thing. We should act out what we day dream about because what we day dream about constantly is what we truly want in life just don’t have the guts to go after. If all you day dream about is a girl then thats your mind and body telling you to get a girl. Stop wasting time thinking about go out there and get it. Chase that dream and make it a reality I truly feel when you accomplish what you been day dreaming about on a regular basis is when your day dream days finally come to an end and you finally start to live for the first time in your life. Bless you all! My email is davidika9@gmail.com if you need words to lift you up.