The other day I had a day dream that I was at a conference about anxiety disorders. I of course was speaking and began to address the crowd but I could only see myself at first. After a few minutes the audience came into view and I realized that almost no one had come and I wondered why.
When the dream ended I began to think about why it was so empty out there. I mulled it over a bit and came to the conclusion that anxiety sufferers would generally not attend such an event. This is mainly because people that have anxiety disorders do not only hate crowds but also are rather ashamed about having an anxiety disorder.
Recently one of my readers stated to me that sometimes she wished she had cancer (not really you understand) so that people would take her more seriously. If you tell someone I have cancer the reaction is swift and predictably sympathetic.
However if you present yourself as an anxiety sufferer you might get a confused look. “Anxiety, you gotta be joking? Get a hold of yourself and just get over it!” is something you might expect.
So are anxiety sufferers a shamed bunch? Are we so scared to be labeled as mentally ill, or worst yet fakes, that we just hide behind our computers?
I figure that there has to be support groups and the like out there so this is probably all in my head. My impressions regarding this issue are really related to how little participation I get from readers. It’s almost as if they would rather be voyeurs and not participants.
On the other hand, I never tell people I have an anxiety disorder. I’m in the closet about the whole nervous problem. I remember once at a dinner party my wife began to speak about Anxiety Guru and I almost had a heart attack and quickly changed the subject. ( I gave my wife a very dirty look).
I figure that others are ashamed because I’m ashamed. But I could be all wrong about this. Please discuss.
You’re right.
I just faxed off a letter to my doctor requesting she refill my Prozac. I had to fax it from work, so here I am, an hour before anyone gets here. I made sure to delete the log from the fax machine and shred the original documents. God forbid someone in the office find out that I’m nuts.
Don’t take lack of feedback as lack of interest. As for me, I’m glad you’re here doing this.
But I probably wouldn’t attend a conference.
Oh man, you are so right. Just a handful of people know about my anxiety problems. It’s not something I want to share with the world.
Hey Paul. Like you I keep the whole thing a bit quiet. Even my oldest friend has no idea that I suffer quite as badly as I do. Having said that i have attended groups and stuff in the past. I found it a little helpful to know that I wasn’t the only one and – and I know this sounds awful – that there were people a lot worse than me. It kind of helped knowing that at least I wasn’t as bad as that guy. Made me feel a bit more normal…
Ah so my readers do exist. Just kidding all, but really I know this is the norm for most of us (double agent bit).
Andy although it’s kinda mean, I think you’re right on the money about feeling good because you’re not “that guy”.
But in all seriousness I never saw a benefit in telling people about my condition – so I don’t. Honestly I think people don’t understand it or care.
Yes you are right on. I am totally ashamed of this and hide it from everyone.
I also agree 100% about the cancer story. Of course no one wishes they really had cancer, but because anxiety and other mental illness are in the category of “invisible illnesses” it’s very hard. People think you look fine or act fine, so they assume your are doing it for attention, etc. Therefor like other responses said, their is not much use in sharing it unless it is with other sufferers as to let them know they are not alone.
If a person does not have anxiety or an anxiety disorder, there is just no way they will get it plain and simple. There are also horrible social stigmas against it as well that I am sad to say we have not made much progress on.
I do read every post you put. I look forward to when I get an email because when I read it it’s just like, wow, I can relate to pretty much everything you say. I just never actually get a chance to respond.
I don’t tell people about my anxiety unless they absolutely need to know. I have it right now where I don’t even want to leave my house. I will. I just don’t like to, because of the driving thing, or being out in public and thinking I’m going to possibly pass out or die, which is horrible because I’m 25 and have a 2 year old daughter I can’t even enjoy time with. But trying to explain that feeling to someone is absolutely impossible. You do get a lot of the ‘Just get over it! Stop thinking that way!’ which gets really annoying. I wish they’d realize it’s not even almost that easy.
With the groups though, I would never attend one. I would want to to see if it would help, but I get nervous and feel embarassed about it. It’s always nice to know you aren’t alone though.
I think I would probably attend – provided it was by someone that actually has or beat anxiety, and they weren’t there to sell some “magic” cure. Actually I do attend Recovery International meetings. I seldom here them mentioned on any sites like this even though meetings are help all over the country and internationaly. It is sort of like AA only for “nervous” people. It is self help and not a group where you go to complain or anything like that. It has helped me more than anything I have tried, mainly because it teached me to change my deeply engrained bad thinking. Probably one of the books, “Mental Health Through will Training” by the founder Dr. Abraham Low has been more help than the actual meetings, but I can not say enough about the degree it had helped me and continues to do so. Has anyone here ever heard of Recoveru and the method of Dr. Low? It is simple and old fashioned(written in the 40’s-50, but like Claire Weekes the old stuff works!
Bob
I think I would probably attend – provided it was by someone that actually has or beat anxiety, and they weren’t there to sell some “magic” cure. Actually I do attend Recovery International meetings. I seldom here them mentioned on any sites like this even though meetings are held all over the country and internationaly. It is sort of like AA only for “nervous” people. It is self help and not a group where you go to complain or anything like that. It has helped me more than anything I have tried, mainly because it teached me to change my deeply engrained bad thinking. Probably one of the books, “Mental Health Through will Training” by the founder Dr. Abraham Low has been more help than the actual meetings, but I can not say enough about the degree it had helped me and continues to do so. Has anyone here ever heard of Recoveru and the method of Dr. Low? It is simple and old fashioned(written in the 40’s-50’s, but like Claire Weekes the old stuff works!
Bob